The Long And Winding Road
by Layla Taylor
Summary: She found out the truth but now will Stella use the skills he has taught her to fight and protect her family Or will she decide to walk away. Continuation of A Cut Above The Rest - Part Two Of The Stella Saga
1. Chapter 1

It was hot and steamy in New Orleans that night but so was every night in the town. He hoped off his bike and walked up the pathway of her courtyard. Her front door was open but screen door locked, thankfully. He knocked lightly and lent against the front of the house. Stella walked to the door and saw that no one was there, she frowned and opened the door and stepped out onto the porch. She had dyed her hair again it was black, but then again she could never keep it one colour for too long.

"Dark angel again, huh?"

Stella jumped in fright and spun to face Kozik, her face like thunder. She quickly checked inside the house and down the hallway to see if Parker was anywhere near, he wasn't.

"What are you doing here?" she more accused then asked.

"I thought you lived in New York"

"I did. We moved here shortly after I came home from Charming. New start of sorts"

Kozik really wanted to fire back that Charming was his home but he held back because he knew they would fight and that wasn't why he was there.

"New start?"

"I told Parker about us"

"Why would you that?"

"Koz, I don't keep secrets, you know why? They tear people apart"

He brushed her cheek softly with the back of his hand and then cradled the back of her neck. Clearly Tig's little secret had had more damage then Stella had shown when she finally found out a year ago.

"Stel, you might not want to know this but we didn't want to tell you over the phone"

"What's wrong?" she asked on full alert "What happened?"

"Tig's missing"

Before she could react they both heard her name being called out from inside the house and foot steps coming to towards them. Parker walked out to the patio and saw his partner in the arms of another man, Koz's hand had moved down from her neck and was now resting on the curve of her hip. Koz and Parker stared each other down and the air was thick with tension and Stella had to do something.

"Parker this is an old friend of mine Kozik. Koz this is my partner, Parker"

"Hey man!" Kozik said quickly. Parker didn't say anything.

"I'll be in soon"

Parker reluctantly left them alone and Kozik looked at her in shock and awe.

"So you're not coming?"

"Koz" she said with her hands on her hips " It's probably US marshals or bounty hunters. Something like that. He'll be fine. Tig will find his way home eventually. It might a girl that has his head spun about, might be having a dirty weekend in Vegas. Who knows?"

"You're making a mistake, Stel" he told her walking down the front steps.

"Why do you care? You're not SAMCRO"

"I transferred" he called out not looking back and he kept on walking. She stayed out on the porch until she heard his bike scream away. She shook her head and calmed herself down before walking back inside.

Stella walked inside and the whole place was silent, no television buzzing in the next room, no music which normally meant she was in a lot of trouble. There was only one place he would be and that was their bedroom, she lent against the doorframe and watched him pace.

"That was _him_, wasn't it?"

She didn't need to clarify who Parker was talking about. _Him_was the man she slept with last year.

"Yes"

"Kozik?" he asked "As in the guy who branded your back?"

"He wasn't the only one who has a _brand_on their back"

That was something Parker didn't know. He looked at her shocked and shook his head. Just the thought of a guy like _Koz _having his girlfriends name inked on his body made him both sick and angry.

"It was true love then, huh?" She sighed loudly and went to sit on the bed. "What did he want?"

"Tig's missing"

"The guy who killed her father! Why would you care?"

"He is my _family_, Parker"

"What! You're going?" he yelled outraged

"Am I standing here? Did I send _him_ away? Jesus!" she softly but she sounded anything but weak. She hoped up from the bed and walked out of the room. She'd be sleeping on the sofa tonight not because she was in trouble but because she couldn't stand being in the same room as him.

Stella tossed and turned all night, as much as she hated to admit it she was worried about Tig, she was worried about her Scarecrow. Around the four thirty mark Stella knew that Kozik was right, she had made a mistake. Stella should be in Charming, she should be looking for him. She sat up quickly and walked over to her laptop and punched in the first airline that popped into her head. She grabbed her white trench coat and any clothes she had in the laundry room, threw them into an overnight bag and wrote Parker a note telling him where she was going. There were a lot of places she wanted to be in the world but there was only one place that she needed to be.


	2. Chapter 2

Jax would be lying if he said he was surprised that Stella hadn't come back to Charming with Kozik after she found out about Tig. They must have underestimated how muchTig had hurt her but Jax guessed he would be the same way under the same circumstance. The Garage was busier then normal that day so luckily he couldn't dwell on the thought. They had all tried to get into contact with her but Opie was the only one she had spoken to and that was because of Ellie and Kenny. They all thought she was still in New York and were all surprised that she had moved to New Orleans. She needed her space and they all understood that but Jax did miss her. He had been changing a carburettor in a 1974 Firebird Formula around about closing time when he heard high heels clicking in up the driveway. There was Stella walking towards him in a white trench and raven hair flowing back behind her.

"Clay!" Jax called out

"What!"

"Princess"

That was all that Clay needed to hear before rushing to Jax's side. Jax heard Clay breath a sigh of relief when he saw her. She threw herself into Clay's arms and held him tight before letting go.

"Where is he?"

"Come on, I'll tell you all about it"

She followed Clay into the office with Jax by her side. She felt his hand wrap around hers and she was very grateful, Stella hadn't realised how venerable she was feeling, until that moment. Clay sat at the desk and Jax and Stella sat in the chair by the door.

"U.S Marshalls?" she asked. Truly believing that's what it would be.

"We've had Juice look into it" Jax told her "He's hacked into every system and data base we can think of. There are no warrants for his arrest. He's clean"

"Then who?"

"We're thinking Darby" Clay spoke up.

"Darby? What's he's beef with Tig?"Jax and Clay looked at each other quickly and Stella understood very quickly what Darby's beef would be, she shook her head and sigh. Clearly there was a lot she didn't know about Tig. She wasn't dense she know that Tig wasn't the nicest guy in the world and she knew that he had done some pretty bad shit in his life but Darby was insane and now she was really worried."Okay what do we do?"

"We think Darby pulled together enough brain cells and has taken Tig outer state. Last time something happened to Tig we drove a truck through a hotel wall to get him back. The story is pretty notorious and I have no doubt that Darby has heard it." Jax told her.

"Wherever he is, We don't have the protection we need to do whatever it takes to get him back. Not like we are in Charming"

"So we're at an impasse"

Suddenly a thin geeky guy ran inside the office, Stella had never seen him before. New Prospect? She thought to herself

"Everyone's ready" he told them. Both the guys stood up and Jax reached out his hand for hers and gently pulled her up. Stella knew she should have left New Orleans with Kozik but she was still hurt and she was stubborn. Jax took her hand and guided her toward Church. She was only too aware of the rule about women and Church so as Jax and Clay moved into the room Stella stayed at the door and notice someone was sitting in Tig's spot.

"What the hell do you think your doing?" she asked, ice in her voice

"This is the Stg At Arms seat"

"No it's not, it's Alex's chair, get your arse up out of it"

"He isn't here" Kozik fired back.

"And he ain't dead yet, Sunshine so move it or I'll make you"

It was a rare moment that Stella's family had heard that tone in her voice but they all knew that when her voice got quiet and deep like that, it was time to hit the deck. Kozik put his hands up in defence and stood up out of the chair. They stared each other down as he walked past her. Everyone expected Stella to go sit in Tig's spot but she didn't, she stayed in the doorway. Suddenly she felt someone's hand brush her waist, Juice kissed her cheek as he walked into the room

"He's in Arizona" he announced

"What?" Stella asked outraged

"Do you know where?" Clay asked

"Of course I do"

"Okay, boys this is high risk and out of our area. If we get caught with anything we shouldn't be carrying, we're up shit creek. We won't all need to go but who ever wants to take a road trip, is more then welcome. We just needed _someone_ with a really big brain to come up with a great plan" Clay said looking over at Stella she just chuckled and smiled at him.

"You're going?" Kozik asked with an edge to his voice

"Of course I'm going"

He swiftly stood up and grabbed her by the elbow and dragged her out of the room. Jax and Opie had to contain themselves to stay seated and not knock Kozik on his arse because of the way he grabbed her. They just had to remember that he was doing it because he was worried.

Kozik dragged her outside the clubhouse and final let go of her arm. Stella shoved him before saying

"Ouch!"

"You can't be serious! There is no way your going to Arizona. Do you have any idea what Darby and his guys would do to you, if things went bad?"

"No one is asking you to come along"

"Stella, if he has been gone this long, he's dead already"

Before he even saw it coming Stella slapped him with all her might for even thinking of it, let alone saying it out loud.

"We don't _know_ that and even if that was true we would still find him and bring him home"

"You didn't give a shit three days ago"

"And now I do" she said walking past him and he grabbed her arm again. Stella looked at Kozik then down at her arm and back to him. Before she could say anything to him they were interrupted.

"What's the plan, beautiful?" the Scotsman called out.

Kozik grip on her arm lightened as she saw Chibs, Jax and Juice standing in front her. Clearly they were coming with her. Kozik finally let go of her.

"We can't go on the bikes. They'll be expecting that plus if he's hurt were going to need something bigger"

"I'm on it" Chibs said jogging off

"Juice can you work your magic and find me _everything_ you can on Darby and he's guys. Any thing I can use? By four this afternoon"

"Is that when we're leaving?"

"Yep"

Jax and Stella stood in front of each other for a few seconds and Stella took a deep breath and knew it was going to be a long night.

"We're low in guns" Jax told her "We're pulling together the personal supplies"

"I'll get mine out of the car"

"You drove guns over state lines?"

"Who hasn't?"

Jax laughed as they walked over to her car, he had been expecting one or two what he wasn't excepting when she opened the boot was a rolled up blanket the size of Mount Rushmore.

"Holy Shit! How many guns do you want, woman?"

"Tig brought me two guns a year since I was twelve. Birthday and Christmas"

"Twelve?"

"When I started to" she stopped trying to think of the right way to say this "Develop"

Jax cracked up laughing, that would be the way that Tig would deal with that age. _Here's a gun and here's how to use it_. Jax kind of understood that. Stella may have been gorgeous and very polished, but she had an edge to her, how could she not? And that edge came out when the people she cared about was in danger. Jax had the idea that they were all going to see a different side to their princess, in the next few days. He carried the blanket into the clubhouse and all the guys stared at him when Jax dropped it on the ground. Stella ripped the Velcro and kicked the blanket a few times to roll it out. Two guns every year since the age of twelve. Thirty guns. All the guys stared at her and back at the guns.

"Well, I don't know what you guys' a using" she said joking around "But I'm using these"

Stella's bad arse quota went up, with all of them. She took her coat off and got down to business. Her guys were with her every step of the way.

Stella stood in Tig's room putting make up on and getting ready to go, she was nervous and she didn't know if her plan was going to work but she prayed that it would. The adrenaline was flowing through her veins and she kind of understood why the guys enjoyed doing stuff like this. It's was a high.

"You're getting dressed up to rescue him?" someone said at the door. She looked up and saw Kozik standing there.

"Gotta use whatever I can to get in there and get him"

"You didn't even say goodbye, Stel" Kozik said quietly. Stella looked at him confused "When you left, you didn't say goodbye"

Stella looked at him outraged. She was anything but thinking clearly once she found out what happened to her father, anyone else would understand that. Why did he always have to be such a pain in the arse.

"I rang you twenty times and left you five messages. I didn't know where you were"

" I was getting ready to transfer, so I could be with you because I thought we had something but you left and you didn't tell me in any of those messages that you were leaving. To go back to New York to your _suit _of a boyfriend"

"Fiancé" she corrected

Kozik frowned and looked at her in shock "Excuse me?"

"He is my fiancé"

Kozik shook he's head and slammed the door behind him, which made her jump. Once she started to feel guilty Stella mentally shook herself and reminded herself there were more important things to think about and do right now. She hadn't returned to Charming for Kozik she had returned to get Tig's back and that's what she was about to do. Stella walked out of the Clubhouse and tightened the belt on her white coat and walked towards the van where the guys were waiting for her. Juice gave her a folder full of paper.

"It's all I could find"

"That's great! Thank you" she said kissing him on the cheek and hoping in the front seat with Jax. The rest of the guys sat in the back and slammed the door behind them. Stella had a little studying to do before they got to Arizona.

The sun had gone down and Stella hadn't even looked up from her folder, she was in the zone and Jax understand but he was worried.

"Why do you need all the stuff?" he asked taking his eyes off the road for a slipt second. She didn't look up.

"I have to use what I can to get him back. If that is a little blackmail and subterfuge, I'll do it" she told him "Hell, if I have sleep with Darby to get him back in one piece, I'll do it"

Jax frowned at her shocked that she'd go to such lengths but he had to take his hat off to her. Stella loved her Scarecrow.

"Let's hope it doesn't come to that"

They all drove into the night and Jax tried to concentrate on the road and not the beautiful woman beside him.


	3. Chapter 3

Hey everybody, Thanks so much for all your wonderful reviews You have no idea how much they mean to me, I wish I could give each of you a huge hug for all the support.

So I have to warn you this chapter so a little violent so I'm sorry if I offend anybody. I hope you all enjoy it

Love L

They pulled up to the hotel and Stella was only too aware that she didn't know what to do next and she was really not looking forward to the guys asking what to do next since she was apparently the mastermind behind the plan.

"Go in guns blazing?" Juice asked. Stella shook her head. There were families in that hotel and she didn't want to hurt anyone who didn't deserve it.

"No we can't do that we have to be as invisible as possible"

Suddenly Stella saw a young guy no more then Twenty years old in a hotel uniform. Stella smiled and Opie knew she was up to no good.

"Can you find out if that kid is working the front desk?"

Opie chuckled because god help that kid if he was. Stella watched Opie jog over to the front office before she hopped into back of the van and picked up a gun that wasn't exactly huge but big enough to just fit in the pocket of her trench. Opie jogged back and nodded his head.

"Kid's alone at the front desk"

Stella smile could have lit up the world at that moment. She undid the belt of her coat and then undid the buttons revealing a red strapless mini bandage dress. Juice, Chibs and Opie weren't surprised at what she was doing or that she looked stunning. Jax on the other hand was lost for words. Stella took a deep breath and walking up and in to the front office.

The kids reaction to Stella had been very similar to Jax's reaction, stunned by her beauty. He tired to get himself together but then she smiled. He tried to ask her if he could help her but got tongue tied and it came out all jumbled up. Stella chuckled and smiled at him.

"Um this is a little embarrassing. My boyfriend and I had at fight basically he has the key to our room and I don't. I was just wondering"

"Which room are you in?"

Stella quickly looked at the shelf behind him.

"Five" she answered since in was the last box on the bottom shelf. As the poor kid crouched down to get the key Stella moved behind the counter and pointed her gun to the back of his head. The kid froze.

"Take what you want" he said quietly and terrified

"I don't want your money" she said turning him around "Listen to me. I'm not going to hurt you. A few days ago there would have been a whole bunch of skinhead guys book in with another guy dark curly hair, intense blue eyes. Do you remember?"

"Did one have Nazi tattoos?"

"Yes" Stella said smiling at him "Are they still here?"

"They haven't checked out yet"

"Which room?"

The kid moved slowly over to the room key and handed it to Stella. She gave him a sweet seductive smile as he placed the key into her hand. She grabbed his tie and pulled the kid towards her

"It's my guess that I haven't seen you, right?"

"Smart boy" Stella said before kissing him on the cheek and leaving the office.

There was a hop, skip and a jump in her step of Stella made her way back to the van. She shook the key ring in her hand

"Room 216"

"Is he still alive?" Opie asked smirking

"Of course" she told them before walking towards the outdoor stair, up to the second level of the flea infested motel.

Stella knew they were barking up the wrong tree when they marched into the room and found one of Darby's guys alone. She stared him down as the guys went looking around the room. Opie stayed by her side.

"He's not here" Juice told her but Stella already knew that.

"This was a decoy location and we fell for it" she told them shaking her head

"Looks like Darby is smarter then we first thought" Jax said looking down at her.

"Or your first rescue is more famous then you know"

Darby's guy just laughed before Chib's slammed him down in the chair closest to them. Stella watched them tie from to the chair and loved that they were five steps a head of her.

"Your name is Dylan right?" she asked sitting across from him

"Yeah what of it?"

Stella smiled at him and tried not to beam too much. She was going to ran circles around this guy and she was going to enjoy every second of it. "Married to Heather and you have a little girl named Monica right?" Dylan frowned but didn't say anything "Is your little girl your Princess? You see that guy that was here, the guy we are looking for? I'm his Princess and he means the world to me and I need to find him"

"That's nice" he said non chant.

"Your little girl is at her grandmothers right now, isn't she? I mean today being Wednesday and all. Your mother if I'm not mistaken, she's on Doheny Avenue" She finally got a reaction " Oh good! We have the place"

"You don't have shit"

"Really? Then why are you worried? You see the only thing standing in between Myself and Alex, is you and you _are_ going to tell me"

"Yes and then the Easter bunny will walk in here, straight after" he chuckled.

Her guys were amazed at the fortitude she had. They watched her pull a gun and a silencer out from an inside pocket of her coat and they tried not to look too surprised when she attached it to the gun gracefully.

"Listen I don't have a lot of time and you're the only one in this room that knows were Alex is so guess what? Your going to tell me"

"You reckon?" Dylan asked smugly. Suddenly she shot the gun but didn't shot him. Stella shot past his ear and then he laughed at her "You missed"

"Oh Dylan, sweetheart. I didn't want to shot you" she said walking towards him. She pressed the silencer to his cheek so it burnt into him. The guys raised the eyebrows as Dylan screamed bloodily murder. Once the yelling had died down she asked " Where is he?"

"I'm not saying a word you bitch"

Stella rolled her eyes and shot past his ear again, then burnt the exact same spot as she had before. Still he didn't say a word. After a while once the room filled up with the smell of burnt flesh Stella thought she might have to change her tactic.

"Listen Dylan, I haven't seen Alex in a year so I am kind anxious to see him. So the longer this goes on, the more painful it's going to get. You tell me were they have him and you can home to your little girl. If you don't tell me I am going to shoot you in both your knee caps and leave you here to bleed to death. Sound good? Okay, where is he?" He said nothing

" Okay" she said taking aim and shooting him in the left knee cap. She walked up to him and looked at his knee "Wow, That's really jammed in there. Oh well say goodbye to the second one"

"Wait, wait!" Dylan screamed "I'll tell you"

"Really? That's really charitable of you Dylan"

He told them the apartment building that they were keeping Tig and it wasn't far. She thanked him before they moved out of the room. Stella turned back when she got to the door and aimed the gun at his right knee and fired. Dylan screamed but Stella was emotionless.

"That's for taking so long" she told him before closing the door behind her. The guys didn't know what to say so they all walked to the van in silence before driving off.

Stella bolted into that apartment like her arse was on fire, she had this instinctive need to find him. She didn't care who else was in there she'd get around them somehow. They all fanned out like a bad cop movie, Jax never left her side. They all had their guns drawn and all were ready for what they might find. Jax and Stella moved down the hallway Stella breath got caught up in her throat when she caught a glance of his boot.

"Jax" she said softly, she was rooted to the floor. Trying to prepare herself for what she might find before she walked in the room. There he was tied up and blindfolded. She walked closer and called out his name but didn't get a response. She tried to fight her tears as she took the blindfold off.

"Alex?" she said softly rubbing his cheek "Wake up"

The good thing was that he was breathing; the bad thing was there was no movement. Jax called the other guys in the room. they all watched on as Stella tried to wake him up.

"Alex? Don't do this to me, wake up. I need you to wake up" she looked up at the guys "We need to get him out of here, now"

"Stella" Opie said pointing to Tig. She looked back and saw him beginning to stir.

"Open your eyes, Alex"

"Princess?" he finally said groggy opening his eyes.

"Yeah, it's me" she said breathing a sigh of relief "Hi"

"Like the hair"

"Yeah, so did Kozik"

"Change it once you get home"

Stella cracked up laughing before turning to Jax.

"Can I borrow your K-bar" He gently handed it to her, before she turned back to her scarecrow "Don't move"

Stella had to hack at the rope a few times before the knife sliced through the rope like butter. She handed the knife back to Jax and helped Tig to his feet. " Let's get you home, eh?"

They almost got to the front door before they got interrupted by another one of Darby's guys; of course he was standing in the living room blocking their escape. Stella rolled her eyes and took her gun out of her pocket, yet again that day. She didn't even blink before shooting the guy in the head and watching him fall to the ground with a thud. This time it was only Tig that looked at her surprise, Opie, Juice, Chib's and Jax had seen her do worse.

"Shit" Tig Said " You are mine, aren't ya?"

"Don't you forget it" she told him before they all moved out to the van. This time Stella rode in the back and Opie took the front seat. The whole way back to Charming she watched Alex go in and out of consciousness and worried a little more each time. Something had to be seriously wrong and she had no idea what it was and had no idea what she could do to fix the problem so she told Jax to drive faster.


	4. Chapter 4

Opie, Jax and Stella watched them wheel Tig through doors where they couldn't follow him. Stella took a deep breath tired to slow her heart down, since it felt like it was beating out of her chest.

"I should have got here earlier. He wouldn't be so back if I left with Kozik. I should have left straight away"

"We didn't know where he was at that point" Opie told her. On the outside Stella was cool and calm on the outside but her eyes gave her away and she was terrified.

"I gotta call Parker" she said walking off to the nurses station. She shook her head tried to prepare herself for the onslaught, she had been in his bad books before she left and she spoken to him in a few days. Stella wasn't going to be his favourite person in the world right now. He picked up at the second ring

"Hi" she said quietly.

"Is this what this marriage is going to be like? You packing up in the middle of the night, leaving without a word. I couldn't even call you because you left your phone here"

"I left you a note so you wouldn't worry"

"Stella, that was barely even ten words and given who your family supposedly are why wouldn't I be fearful for your safety?"

"Hey!" she stopped him right there " Be pissed at me, that's fine but talk about them that way again, Parker we will be on very shaky ground I genuine you that" Parker was shocked into silence; she had never spoken to him that way. He had never heard she speak to anybody that way "they would never hurt me and put their lives on the line to keep me from harms way"

"I am just saying"

"I know what you're saying but I just calling you to tell you that I'm okay and you don't have to worry. Listen I have to go I've got something to do but I'll call you later"

She didn't even wait for Parker to say anything before she hung up the phone. She must have hung up louder then she first thought because Jax and Opie looked up at her surprised.

"You okay?" Jax called out. She smirked and shook her head before walking towards them

"No I'm in a lot of shit right now" she told them before seeing Juice jogging towards them " You ready?"

"All stocked up and ready to go"

"Okay. Let's go"

Jax looked down at this tiny woman who he had seen do incredible things that day and he was amazed that she wasn't done yet. As she went to work away Opie held out his arm and stop her.

"You don't need to do this. You got him back, you've done enough Stel"

"Don't worry" she getting up on her tippy toes and kissing him on the cheek " I'll be okay. Keep me posted. I won't be long"

Opie and Jax frowned as they watched Stella walk out of the hospital with Juice. What ever she had planned it wasn't good and they were worried.

Stella and Juice pulled up outside Darby's house and it was all dark and empty. Looked like no one was home, which was the way that Stella wanted it. She didn't want to physically hurt him, she knew the guys would take care of that but she did want him to pay and that was why his favorite hangout, that dirty and disgusting bar was currently in flames. Juice and Stella hopped out of the truck and grabbed the last two containers of Kerosene out of the back. She followed Juice through the front yard and watched him break the window and get into the house. He jumped into that window and unlocked the front door letting Stella into the house. They both ran through the house dropping Kerosene everywhere.

"You ready?" he asked

"More then ready"

They stepped out of the front and both stuck matches before dropping them on the kerosene soaked floor and calmly walked back to the truck and drove off. Stella couldn't wipe the smile off her face.

"Juice?"

"Yes"

"Can I ask one more favor?"

"You want a kidney?"

"Nothing that painful, just something small" she said smiling her winning smile at him. Before she knew it they were at Gemma and Clay's place and she was building up enough courage to knock on the door. When she finally did Gemma just looked at her blankly

"You look like shit" Gemma told her

"I feel like shit"

Gemma couldn't be angry at her anymore so she hugged her tight. They pulled back from each other "Don't you _ever_ leave again, without saying goodbye. You hear me?"

"Loud and clear"

They walked into the house, still wrapped in each other's arms, Gemma sniffed a couple of times before asking

"Is that kerosene?"

"Yeah, it's my new perfume"

"What? And your new hair spray smells like smoke"

"It was a package deal"

Gemma looked down at the overnight bag in Stella's hand and smiled

"Do you want to borrow the shower?"

"Dear god yes. I've been in cars and burning building for the past three days"

Stella rushed into the bathroom and had the quickest shower known to man, including washing the smoke out of her hair. She was back in Gemma's kitchen dressed in jeans, a tank top and freshly blow dried hair. Gemma placed a cup of coffee on the table in front of Stella.

"Thank you" she said quietly. Tiredness had caught up with her, Gemma could hear it in her voice or maybe it was the realization of what she had just done and how close she had come to losing him. A single tear escaped and that was all she needed before Stella came crashing down. She sobbed. Gemma pulled her up from the chair and held her tight as Stella sobbed her little heart out.

"He's okay" Gemma whispered " It's all going to be okay"

Stella nodded her head but continued to cry. Stella heard someone else walking into the house but at that point she was to far gone to hide that she had been crying, so she just kept going.

"You've shot a guys knees out and shot another in the head and now you're crying?" Clay asked chuckling.

"Yeah, what of it?"

"You did?" Gemma asked surprised

"Well the guy with the knees wasn't telling me what I needed to know and the other guy was my way'

"Burning the guy's cheek with the silencer?" Clay asked eyebrows raised.

"That was just plan fun"

Gemma laughed and wished she had been there to see it.

"Jax called" Clay told them "Tig has internal bleeding and going into surgery"

Stella shook her head and knew it was going to be a long couple of hours. Suddenly there was a knock on the door and Kozik walked into the place like he owned it. Gemma tried not to laugh when she saw Stella roll her eyes. If only Stella knew what the future held for herself and Kozik. He was all cocky and full of attitude until he saw what state she was in. He gently handed her the keys

"Brought the Porsche around, thought you might be here, thought you might need it"

"Thanks" she said softly "How are you getting back?"

Kozik just smiled at her and Stella knew the answer was herself

"Come on. I have to go back to the hospital anyway"

He just smiled because he got his way. Stella promised to call Gemma once she heard anything about Tig and left with Kozik.

As they drove back to the club house he couldn't help but stare at the two carat round cut diamond in her finger, it was the reality of his situation hit home and it hurt. They hadn't said anything to each other since they got into her car but that didn't mean she hadn't noticed what he was looking at the whole time.

"Would you stop!" she told him half way home

"What?"

"Looking at my engagement ring like it's going to explode"

"It's a little small isn't it?"

"It's what he could afford and it's not the size that matters"

"I guessing that not the only time you've said that about _Parker_"

Kozik knew he was right only for the fact that Stella chuckled "It's not the size it's how he uses it"

"Judging by our night together, he doesn't know how to use it either. Are you getting good at faking it?" She smirked but stared at the road ahead of her. Stella hated that Kozik guessed that and she hated the fact that he was right "I'm right aren't I? Parker is a bad lay"

"Get out" she said laughing as they pulled up to the club house. Kozik just laughed as he unclipped his seat belt and suddenly he was on her side of the car, so close to her that their noses were almost touching, she was certain that he was going to kiss her, one of those kisses that took the air right out of her lungs but instead he kissed her on the cheek and she had been disappointed until he run his hand up her left thigh and watched her press her lips together, close her eyes and rest the back of her head on the seats head rest. Kozik chuckled by before kissing her other cheek.

"Yep" he said with a smile on his face "I've still got it"

"I hate you"

"Not right now, you don't"

"Shut up!" she told him before he closed the door and she drove off, back to the hospital.


	5. Chapter 5

She saw them all sitting in the waiting room. They were all bored and worried, but she could tell that they were shattered but she knew that they wouldn't leave until they heard some news. She took her jacket off and sat down next to Jax.

"You go see my mom?"

"Mmmm-hmmm"

"You in trouble?"

"I was for about five minutes and then she forgave me" she told pulling her legs up on the chair beside her and resting her head on Jax's shoulder "Have you heard anything?"

"Not yet" he said brushing the hair from her face.

"I'm going to try and not freak out, okay?" she said closing her eyes.

"Okay"

Stella must have fallen asleep because the next time she opened her eyes she was laying down on the chairs with the V.P's cut draped over her. She sat up slowly and ran her fingers through her hair.

"Morning, Sleeping Beauty" Juice said sitting down across from her.

"Is he out of surgery yet?"

"Yeah, they have just taken him in Recovery but it still might be awhile. They said it went really well"

"Good" she said nodding her head " And that other thing?"

"Yeah all done. Your friend looks a lot like you"

Stella just smiled at him and nodded her head "Just one of those things I guess"

Juice always knew she was smart but it was only over the past few days that he really understood just how smart she was. He didn't know if the whole time that Stella was making it up as they went along or she had planned everything on the way back to Charming but either way her plan had worked. She thanked him before standing up and going to find Jax.

Stella walked down the hallway and there they were Opie and Jax, trying to keep them selves amused, which wasn't easy to do in a hospital. She smiled and held out Jax's cut.

"Thought you might want this back, People might not recognize you without it on"

They both chuckled because they knew the chances of Jax not being recognized in Charming were slim to none.

"You still look like death, warmed up"

"Geez, thanks Jackson. You really have a way with women, don't you?"

"All I am saying is if you wanted more sleep, Tig isn't going to be wake for a while" he said brushing some of her hair down that was untidy from sleeping on the hospital chairs.

"Well I want to be there when he does" she told him getting out a pack of cigarettes form her jacket pocket. Jax frowned because it was the first time he had seen her with a packet of her own in years. Stella had never been a big smoker, she just normally bummed one of someone elses and that wasn't too often. She playfully frowned at him and smiled "Give me a break. If there is a time to smoke, it's now"

"Fine but don't make it a habit"

"Yeah, yeah" she said making her way to the front door. She walked out pass the security cameras and sat down on the benches and lit up. She breathed in deep and got as much smoke as possible. She heard heavy boots walk towards her and she looked up surprised to see who was sitting next to her.

"I realized something tonight" he said "I've seen you get cheated on, my fault of course. I've seen you after a motorcycle accident, a miscarriage and everything that followed but tonight was the first night I've seen you cry. So naturally I was worried dispute what happened in the car"

She nodded her head and tried to fight the tears.

"This is different Kozik. This is happening to someone I love and it hurts so much more" she told him "I was so horrid to him when I was last here. I don't want that to be the last thing he remembers about me"

"From what I've been told, the last thing he is going to remember clearly is you shooting someone in the head to save him" he said moving her engagement ring back and forth on her finger. He really hated that thing.

"Wasn't enough, should have left with you for so many different reasons"

"If you weren't with Parker?" he asked. She looked up at him and smiled before softly chuckling

"A lot of things would be different, Koz. A lot of things"

They heard someone jogging outside of the hospital and towards them, they both looked up to see Juice

"He's up"

" That was quick" Stella said before biting her lip and suddenly she was nervous. What was she going to say to Alex now that they could talk? Did she want to rehash the past or just bury it? Stella hadn't gotten that far. Kozik squeezed her hand gently noticing her hesitation.

"Go" he whispered

"You're not coming?"

"I'll see you back at the clubhouse later"

Stella just nodded her and took Juice's hand before walking back into the hospital to face her demons. She stood at the door of his room and quietly gasped as she saw all the machines he was hooked up too. She had never seen him weak before, Alex had always seemed invincible It was a shock to her but Stella had to pull it together, for him. Stella cleared her throat before saying

"Well, that's one way to get a gal back to Charming"

He looked over at the door

"All apart of my master plan" he told her and Stella chuckled "Come here"

Stella hopped on the bed with him and tried not to cry but a few tears escaped without warning.

"Don't ever do that again" she told him quietly

"Right back at you, girly" Suddenly he saw the ring on her finger and held up her hand to take a better look "I thought you never wanted to get married"

"I also said I wanted to be with Christian Slater. A girl can change her mind"

"No, no. This girl felt guilty for sleeping with Kozik and said yes to the proposal to make up for it"

She looked up at him quickly and surprised because she hadn't told anybody that and it was all true. How the heck did he know that, right away? How did he know her so well? They hadn't seen each other in a year and he could still read her like a book and Stella hated it.

"He's a good man"

"That's all that matters, I guess"

He hated it, she could tell but didn't say anything. They both just laid there, they had a lot of time to catch up on. They didn't count on being interrupted.

"Well isn't this touching" she said at the door "Family reunion"

They both looked at the door and saw Agent Stahl standing there all high and mighty and right then Stella really hoped that her plan was going to work.

"Oh June" she said "How I have _missed_ you"

"That's sweet. Stella I need you to come with me"

"What for?" Tig asked outraged

"Two counts of Arson on one Mr Darby"

"June I _just_ got here" Stella told her "Juice just picked me up from airport"

"We can talk about it down the station"

Stella rolled her eyes, kissed her scarecrow goodbye, a kissed that made even June raise her eyebrows and following June out of the hospital.

Stella sat across from June in the interview room and June paced back and forth trying to look threatening, clearly she didn't know Stella wasn't easily intimidated.

"I have an eye witness that places you at Darby's house breaking in and lighting up the joint for what I can only guess, putting your scarecrow in the hospital"

"Your eye witness is wrong. Once Alex was brought to the hospital, the boys called me in New Orleans I hopped on the next flight and Juice picked me up from the airport. I don't know even what happened to Alex or why he had been in surgery because you rudely interrupted. You have no legs to stand on. Check the telephone logs at the hospital at the nurses' station" she said picking up her bag, grabbing the plane ticket and dropping it on the table "I spoke at an air hostess by the name of Karen on the flight. Call the air line and speak to her and come to think of it, I would be on the security footage at the airport. I don't know what this eye witness has told you but it must have been someone who looks like me. Who knows the amount of women Darby has had in that place. At least one of them will be a women scorned, I guarantee it"

"It's very neat and tidy, Stella"

"And all true. Sometimes you can get a simple open and shut case like this, it just your lucky day, June"

She watched June take the plane ticket off the table and stare at Stella trying to find a crack in her performance, June wasn't so lucky.

"Well, you sit tight and we'll check your story with the airline and her fiancé and I'll see you soon"

"Looking forward to it"

Stella had planned ahead; her friend Karen had brought a ticket for that same flight she was working on. Stella drove the thirty four hours to Charming so she wouldn't be caught on airport footage. Juice was right Stella and Karen did look freakishly alike so when he picked Karen up from the airport it would look like Stella from the back. Her plan worked out perfectly. However she wasn't expecting June to call Parker to check the story with Parker. He was the missing piece and if he told the truth Stella was up shit creek and was going to Prison and it didn't fill Stella with coincidence that he was currently angry at her.

Unser wandered into the room an hour later and sat down in front. Stella just smiled at him, knowing that the chief knew truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.

"Remind me, never to piss you off"

"Did you get my text?" she asked sweetly.

"Yes. Dylan was a mess when the cops got to him but he is in a hospital in Arizona with his family"

"Good"

"You're cold, Lady"

"But not heartless, Wayne"

"I do love the way you have _that_ women running around here like a blue ass fly, trying to find a hole in your story. Boy howdy is she pissed that you partner back you up. I think Stahl thought he was the weak link"

"He was" she said breathing a sigh of relief long " I was going to get you to call Rosen"

"You're not going to need him. You will be out of here in half an hour"

"Thanks Wayne"

"You're welcome, Princess"

She watched him walk out of the room and she finally stopped worrying but couldn't believe that Parker had lied to ATF for her. Her guys she knew would lie for her but Parker was straight edge, straight up and down and he had just broken the law for her. That was surprising. He was right. A little while later Agent Stahl walked back into the room and dismissed Stella apologizing for any inconvenience that they police force might have cause. Stella walked out of that police station and shook her head but wasn't surprised it was him waiting to give her a lift.

"Hey Jail Bird"

"Shut up"

"No seriously, it's all types of hot" Kozik told her with a chuckle "Please tell me she used the handcuff"

"She didn't but we did have a pillow fight in our underwear back in the cells" Stella told him climbing on the back of his bike

"You tease"

She wrapped her arms around his waist and felt freed of they drove off. She had gotten off Scott free, Stella couldn't believe her plan worked, it felt like a dream.

Her delight seize to exist when they pulled into the clubhouse, she was confused why they weren't at the hospital. Anybody and everybody would know that's where she would want to be at that moment.

"What the hell?" she asked once he shut down the engine "Hospital"

"Nope" he disagreed "Sleep"

"I slept"

"Yeah for an hour, Stel"

"So?" she said leaning up against the bike

"One hour in three days"

"_So?"_

Kozik smiled at her. Stella was so reluctant to show any weakness; to anybody it really amazed him at times.

"Okay I'll make you a deal. If you can stand up for a minute, by yourself, I'll take you to the hospital. Go"

She frowned before she stood up right and placed her hands on her hips. Stella wasn't going to let him win, she was going to go to the hospital and it didn't matter how tired she was. Sleep could wait. She was going pretty well until the twenty second mark and she started to lend to the right. She put her hand on the bike and cursed out loud. Kozik turned her around in the direction of the clubhouse but she dug in her heels and stopped them both.

"Stel, let me put it this way you are either walking in there on your own accord or you are going in there over my shoulder and you know you'll never live that down"

He was right. All the bad ass stuff she had done over the past few days would be down the toilet if she went in there over his shoulder, Jane to his Tarzan.

"Fine" she said quietly "Two hours"

"Think again, eight hours sleep"

"Four hours"

" Eight hours and if you say another word I'm going to make it twelve"

She scowled at him knowing she had been defended and by Kozik at that. Stella hated him so much in that moment for forcing her to do something she didn't want to do. In what world did that happen? She rolled her eyes and walked towards the club house totally defeated and kind of happy that Kozik was taking care of her. That hadn't happened in a long time.


	6. Chapter 6

Two weeks later the clubhouse was in full party mode. Stella walked out the back to see what all the noise was. She stared in disbelief as she saw Happy and Tig in the boxing ring.

"He does know that he just got out of hospital right?" she asked as Bobby wrapped his arm around her shoulders.

"Princess, he's crazy. You just have to face it"

Happy landed an upper cut as Stella looked away. She fought the urge to tell Happy to lay off but who was she kidding no one would be listening to her. She flinch a couple more times before she yelled

"Kick his arse, Alex!"

Bobby just laughed as he watched Stella get into it. She hadn't realised he was in the state let alone in the club house watching her get primitive over a free for all.

"Well this is a side of you I haven't seen before"

She turned around to see Parker standing behind her

"Parker" she said astonished. She never expected him in Charming ever. Actually she would have preferred it that way but clearly that wasn't going to happen.

"Don't I get a hug?"

"Sorry I am in shock" she said moving forward and hugging him lightly. "Come on"

Stella took her inside as Kozik and Jax watched on as they moved into the back rooms. Kozik poured himself another drink and slammed it down in seconds.

"Is that him?" Jax asked

"Yep"

"What is she thinking? He is so Joe College, preppy even"

"I know. I thinking it's because he is not us that why she likes him. I kind of ruined her that way"

"She's over that now, man"

"There's more to it, Jax" Kozik poured himself another drink. There was nothing he could do about Parker being there but Kozik sure could get smashed.

Stella dragged him into the closest bedroom and closed the door behind her. They stared at each other for a second, both figuring out if the other was going to speak. Stella dived in

"What are you doing here?"

"We haven't seen each other in a fortnight and I missed you"

That would have been sweet of it had been true but she knew it wasn't. Stella knew the real reason he was there and it had nothing to do with the time apart.

"Bullshit" she said quietly

"Excuse me?"

"I know why you're here" she said leaning up against the door "If you trusted me, you wouldn't be here and if you don't trust me. What the heck are we doing?"

"Stella, I lied to the feds for you! So don't tell me I am not invested in this relationship. After that I realised there is a whole different side to you I haven't seen before."

Suddenly Parker saw something at the corner of his eye over near the dresser. He walked over to the mirror and picked up the photograph that was wedged in the corner. A very young Stella wrapped up in Kozik's arms smiling up at him and Parker finally understood the saying _A picture is worth a thousands words_. "Hmmm. Yeah he is clearly over you"

Parker handed her the picture and she stared at it stunned. That picture was taken on her nineteenth birthday. It had been one of her one and only birthdays in California and it was one of her best, it was actually the night she fell if that was the reason Kozik had kept it. The look on Stella's face said a lot too, Parker hated that his Fiancé had such a strong history with someone else.

"This is his room?" Parker asked her. Stella hadn't realised it at the time she had dragged him to Kozik room. Of course she wouldn't have picked his room on purpose; she wasn't crazy "This is where it happened?"

Stella just nodded her head, what could she say?

"Parker, either you forgive me or you don't. It's as simple as that. Listen, go back to my place and we'll talk more there"

"You have a _place_, here? Since when?"

"Since they brought it for me last year, it was when I was away"

"That's what you're calling the last year of your life?"

"It's the past Parker. Just do me a favor go to the house and I'll meet you there, Okay?"

"I have to meet your family sooner or later, you know"

"Clearly" she said chuckling. Stella would have preferred that they never met at all, she hadn't thought about how she was going to get around that at the wedding, in fact she hadn't thought about the wedding at all, come to think of it. Parker agreed to meet her back at the house. Stella looked around the party for Kozik, he was fall down drunk, in a corner, smoking and sulking. She shook her head and marched over to him. She grabbed his hand and marched him back to his room. Stella closed the door behind them and held out the photograph.

"Why do you have this?"

"It was the night…" he said before she cut him off

"I know what night it was. Why do you have it, Kozik?"

"It was the one time in my life that I had everything. I had this totally mesmerizing woman, who thought I could do no wrong and in spite of everything that happened will always be the mother of my child." He told her before Stella looked away "I saw it in the box of photographs that Gemma gave you and thought I wanted to keep it so I could remember it all"

Stella sat down on his bed and ran her fingers through her hair.

"I know you want this but Kozik I can't give you, want you want"

"I don't want kids, I want _you_!"

Stella frowned and shook her head. It wasn't that simple, it was never that simple when it came to her life. She stood up and walked over to him and brushed his face with the back of her hand.

"I've seen your face when I'm with Abel or Ellie and Kenny. I want a family and Babe I'm not going to take that away from you. I don't have that right"

"So your going to marry a guy you don't love because he what, doesn't want kids? How could someone not want kids with you, Stel?"

She didn't want to think about it she quickly moved his hands away from her hip and went to step around

"I gotta go"

He watched her walk to the and open it before he spoke again

"Do you know when things get too hard for you to handle or things get to truthful for you. Stel, you ran away?"

"Excuse me?"

"You heard me. Stop being so scared of this of us"

"There is no us"

"Keep telling yourself that, Stel" he told her shaking her head " You might actually believe it one of these days because no one else here does"

"Okay Kozik" she said " I'll do that"

She slamming the door before her and walking out of the clubhouse.


	7. Chapter 7

Stella stood in the Teller-Morrow service office and watched Parker muck about with Kenny and Ellie and Abel in her arms babbled something to her in his own language, Stella had no idea what he was talking about but she acted like she did.

"So what do you think?" she asked Gemma who was sitting behind her at the desk.

"I think he is unlike anybody I've seen you date before" Stella chuckled knowing that was Gemma's polite way of saying _He's not one of_us "Not such a bad thing I guess but if he makes you happy, more then anybody else in this world. Stella that's all that matters"

"Subtle, Gem"

"Just putting it out there, do what you will with the information. I've seen you and Koz together over the past few weeks. It's been like no time has gone by between you. You can't deny you two still have a spark"

"Yeah and he also drives me insane"

"At least you feel something. Do you know how many times I've wanted to smack Clay up the back of the head?"

Suddenly someone was in the office with them, it was the very some man they had been speaking about and he had heard everything.

"Thanks Gemma, but we both know Stella is too stubborn for her own good" Stella gave him a quick smirk and they stared each other down for a few seconds, a power struggle of sorts "Can we talk?"

Stella shook her head and looked out the door to where Parker was with the kids and suddenly all she could hear was Kozik's words in her head. _How could someone not want kids with you, Stel?_

"I can't. Not with him here"

"Five minutes, that's all I'm asking"

She couldn't bring herself to say yes so Stella silently nodded her head before watching him walk out. She looked over at Gemma who just smiled.

"Not a word"

"I wouldn't dream of it" Gemma said taking Abel out of Stella's arms.

What worried her more then lying to Parker about where she was going to be, it was the fact that Stella and Kozik were going to be in his bedroom, alone. Stella was pretty good with the self control but she had to admit to herself that when it came to Kozik lately, her self control, was not strong enough. She told Parker that she was going to check on Tig and made her way back to Kozik's room.

"Hi" she said quietly

"Hey" he said walking across the room and getting something out of his closet. Kozik walked back to her and placed a small box in her hand.

"What's this?"

"I've been carrying that around with me for almost a decade. I don't want it anymore and it's clear you'll never use it"

Stella frowned at him confused wondering what the heck he was talking about. The maroon velvet of the box was dusty and in her head she knew what was inside that box and apart of her didn't want to see what was inside because she knew that she would love it, he knew her so well, how could Stella not love it? Another part of her was dying to see it and that part of her won out. She lift the top and found a prefect five-carat asscher cut diamond on a platinum band and it was exactly what Stella would have pick for herself, it was prefect.

"I.." was all Stella could say

"I was going to asking you to marry me on your nineteenth birthday, which was my first instinct. It was my first instinct to not sleep with Emily and it was my first instinct not to let you leave on your motorcycle in the middle of the night. You know why I keep that photograph? To remind to go with my first instinct every time , otherwise I stuff everything up and people get hurt"

"Koz.."

"You're going to marry _that_guy and move on and I have to let go of that hope that things are magically going to be different between us. There not going to be. So you take that because I'm sick of looking at it"

It was only then that Stella realized that she had been holding on to that very same hope. That in some way, shape or form that fate was going to step in and save them both but it wasn't and they had both made their choose, dispute their feelings. Stella nodded her head and he had clearly had enough of their back and forth limbo land.

"Okay"

"I really did love you"

"I know" she said stepping forward and wrapping him up in her arms. They stood there for a long time both realizing this was finally the end. It was the closure that neither of them got the first time around. To Stella's surprise he was the first one to let go. Stella smiled at him before turning towards the door. As he watched her walked out that door Kozik realized that there was something else he needed to do before he said goodbye. Stella had made it into the hallway before she was pulled back. He turned her around and kissed her. Stella stumbled back in surprise and found herself pressed up against the wall behind her. She attempted to gently push him away but he turned up the heat and she stopped, Stella got lost in it all. Her arms fell lifeless by her sides, Stella was lucky she was pinned against the wall because otherwise she would have been in a puddle on the floor. Her knees buckled before he let her go, Stella quickly grabbed a hold of his arm to prevent herself from falling.

"That was meant to be a goodbye kiss" He told

"That didn't feel like goodbye"

"Yeah, I didn't think so either"

"Damn it" she said letting go of him.

What they didn't know was that they weren't alone. Parker had been happy when he saw his fiancé try and push _that_ guy away but what he hadn't expected was Stella's reaction after that. Parker had never made Stella act that way, they had never shared a passionate kiss, like that and they had kissed a lot in the past two years. Everything became exceedingly clear and Parker knew what he would have to do.

Stella sat in her Porsche out the front of her house and stared at both of her engagement rings; she slightly took off Parker's ring and replaced it with the one that Kozik brought her. She thought about how different her life would be if he had proposed on her birthday and it would have been so different that she couldn't comprehend it. She quickly took the ring off again and placed it on her right hand. Parker's ring looked different once it was back where it had been, it was the smaller ring but suddenly it was heavier then ever before. When she finally walked inside Stella got the shock of her life when she saw Parker packing his bag.

"What's going on?" she asked picture in her head that Parker had meet one of her guys and they had scared the shit out of him, which she had to face it, would be very probable especially since Happy was in town.

"I'm going back to New York"

"Why?"

"Because I don't know you, Stella. I thought I knew you but then again I didn't know you owned a gun let alone knew how to shot it at people. I heard the whole story"

"Listen" she told him " They had Alex and he was very close to dying and I needed to know where he was. I needed to get him to the hospital. I do extreme things for the people I love, that's just the way it is here"

" Where you frame mug shots?"

"I love that wall" she admitted

"That's what I am saying, I never realized how different we are. Plus you're right if I trusted you, I would be here and if we love each other like we should you wouldn't have slept with him or kissed him like that, today"

All the air in her lungs and her heart jumped up into her mouth. She would have never wanted him to see that, ever. " I'm sorry" she told him quietly.

"Don't be" he said smiling " When I saw you two together I realized that something was missing between me and you. I've never had that effect on you"

"Parker…"

"I need to find that person who I have that effect on"

She just nodded her head because what else could she say. Stella watched him zip up his bag and Stella slipped off Parker's engagement ring and gently placed it in the palm of his hand.

"I wish it was different" she told him softly before he took her in his arms. They looked at each other for a long time, they were going to remember this break up forever, for the rest of their lives. Parker took her face gently in his hands and looked straight into her eyes

"Stella, you're where you are meant to be. Stop fighting who you are, you can't be two people. You never be happy if you keep fighting it"

Stella nodded her head, not sure if he was talking about Kozik or her life in general. Parker kissed her on the forehead and walked out the door. Stella watched him go, what else could she do? She made her bed and now she would have to sleep in it.

Later that night she drove over to the clubhouse she needed a drink and a good laugh and her guys were always good for both. When she walked in Alex was at the bar already, she stood next to him and dropped her bag on the bar top.

"I just got dumped" she said not looking at him because she knew if she looked at him he would hug her and if Alex hugged her, she would cry and Stella couldn't cry in the clubhouse. Tig looked at her shocked before turning to the Prospect.

"Whiskey, over here"

Stella slammed to down in one go and the Prospect poured her another.

"Thank you"

"You want to talk about it?"

"Hell no"

"Damn, I was really looking forward to interrogating him. Scaring the life out of him"

"I know you were" she laughed " I just have to get used to the fact that you're the only guy, for me. I mean really that's great, since we're both crazy, so really it's all prefect"

They both knew there would be other guys that walked in and out of her life but for now she was happy with her Scarecrow.


	8. Chapter 8

Stella parked her car in the parking lot behind the bar. After everything that had happened over the past few days with Parker and Kozik, she just really needed to get out of town and found herself in Lodi. She locked up her car and was in much need of a drink. The bar was dark and full of smoke, with not many people there, but it was only just on six o'clock. She ordered a scotch and sat at the bar. No one bothered her until about nine when two boof head college students decided they wanted to pick her up.

"Hey, baby" one of the said, he looked like he could have been a footballer "You're new in town"

"No, not really"

"We've never seen you here before" the skinny one said.

"I live over in Charming" she said before discreetly flashing the tattoo in her wrist. Even people in Lodi knew what that crow meant. Normally in a situation like this once she showed the tattoo, whoever the guy was that was trying to pick her up, backed off very quickly but not these guys. Maybe it was the confidence of youth or just plain stupidity but these guys were intrigued and started to ask her endless questions about the club and who she was with. With each question Stella was getting more annoyed, just as she was about to lose her temper she heard someone say.

"Sorry guys, this one is spoken for"

Stella turned around to see a ghost from the past. The two college guys sized him up but he was twice their size so they made there retreat, very quickly. Stella smiled at him and couldn't believe he was in Lodi

"Kyle Hobart, you're alive"

"Surprised?"

"After your last trip to Charming, yeah I'm surprised"

"Tig told you about that eh?"

"Alex tells me everything" she chuckling "Thanks for your help"

"Anytime"

Stella brought him a drink in gratitude and they started catching up. They hadn't seen each other in seven years so there was a lot to catch up on. They sat opposite each other in a booth talking when Kyle started chuckling

"What?"

"They must be slipping, letting SAMCRO's Princess go out drinking by herself in Lodi, unprotected. Anything could happen to you"

"I can take care of myself plus they don't know I'm here"

"Otherwise you'd have bodyguards' right?"

The both laughed because they knew it was true. The strange thing was that they were both wrong, she had been followed to Lodi. Stella just didn't know it. When Kozik saw Stella walked out of her house he knew there was something wrong so he followed her and was surprised when she drove to a bar in Lodi and equally surprised when he saw Kyle Hobart walk in after her. Would she be there to meet him? Kyle was ex-communicated from the club and that's all Kozik really knew. He knew it was more then likely a coincidence but Stella was on the rebound and Kyle was known for nailing anything in a skirt. What better revenge then to sleep with Princess. Either way after an hour of waiting outside Kozik knew he had to go in. When he did he saw them sitting in a booth Kyle now sitting next to Stella, he's arm rest on the seat, behind her and Stella was happily jammed up next to the wall with Kyle in close proximity. Kozik wanted to march over there and rip Kyle away from her but he knew that it would be better to keep an eye on them.

"How did you forgive him?" Kyle asked her rubbing her arm softly. They hadn't moved from the booth and it had been three hours. He couldn't believe that Stella had actually found out about her father and beyond that, couldn't believe that Stella had could actually move past it.

"When they told Alex was missing it was like I knew it didn't matter. I had been angry at him and I still want to be but he was in danger and it was like it all fell away and all that mattered to me was that Alex was okay and I had to find him"

"Wow"

"Kozik told me and it was like a switch flicked inside and I realized that Alex had done far more good in my life then bad and that was all that mattered to me"

"You found him?"

"Yeah. I had to get inventive but we found him and his okay now. How about you? How's your back?"

"It's fine now"

"Don't worry. Chicks dig scars"

"Really?"

"Mmm-hmm"

Stella knew it had been coming but she was still surprised when he kissed her. She kissed back before wrapping her arms around his neck. Kyle slowly pulled back and asked if she wanted to go somewhere. To even Stella surprise, she said yes. Kyle moved out of the booth and held out his hand for hers, which she took. He gently pulled her out of the booth and they made their way to the door. Koz shook his head and wondered how Stella could be that stupid, she should have known he was using her but maybe Stella was using Kyle too. If Stella wanted to feel wanted or sought after, as many women did after a break up. She knew that she could go to Kozik, everyone knew that. So why didn't she? He walked out of the bar just to see both cars leaving the lot. Stella following Kyle. Kozik didn't know why but he followed them. He didn't trust Kyle and for some reason Stella had lost her mind. They pulled into a cheap motel. Kozik pulled up outside to see Kyle and Stella walk over to his hotel room and Kyle pin her up against the wall next to the door. She kissed him like she had never wanted anything more it her life. Kozik knew he couldn't watch any more. This wasn't the Stella he knew, she was totally different and he couldn't stand it. Kozik pulled back out on the highway and rode back home to Charming.

Stella pulled up at her place at nine the next morning feeling quite pleased with her self. She didn't regret what she did the night before. Stella was now single and an adult and could do what and who she pleased. Of course she wasn't going to tell anyone but then again it was no one else's business either. She had a great time and that was nothing to apologize for. Stella dumped her stuff on the table near the door and walked into the kitchen.

"Did you have fun, last night?" voice asked.

Stella jumped out of her skin, only to find Kozik sitting at her kitchen table. She looked at him coldly, the same look he often copped from Tig.

"How the hell did you get in here?"

"Key under the frog. Great hiding place by the way, anyone could walk in"

Stella shook her head and made herself a cup of coffee. She didn't know that he had gotten up from the table and was right behind her. She had been blissfully unaware until she felt his breath on her ear "Kyle Hobart? Really?"

Stella spun around to face him before he trapped her in between the kitchen sink and his arm. "You _followed_ me?"

"Yeah and wasn't I surprised to see you cosy, up close and personal in a booth with Hobart"

"How dare you follow me! You had no right to do that"

"Me? You're the one who slept with a member who was ex-communicated"

"How is that anyone else business but my own?"

He saw the pain in her eyes. Kozik knew that Parker was a prick but dispute that Stella was still hurting because she had lost him and Kozik knew that was half his fault.

"Baby, I know you're not handling this break up but why did you come to me?" He brushed the hair out of her face "You know I love you, isn't that better then being with someone who doesn't give a shit"

She finally looked up at him coldly and chuckled

"You don't get it, Kozik. I was with him because he _wasn't_you"

Kozik looked at her in shock and took a step back. She never took her cold eyes off his. She was trying to hurt him and it was working. Kozik blood started to boil

"Why are you such a _Bitch_!"

"You can't fight who you are"

"That's who you think you are?" he asked "That's not who you are. You're a scared little girl"

"What?"

"Whenever anything real is standing in front of you, Stella. You run away. You don't want to be like your mother, to love someone so much that you'd die for them"

He saw this one coming; once the words came out of his mouth Kozik knew she was going to slap the life out of him.

"Don't you ever speak of her _again"_

Stella moved past him and tried to walk away because the truth was Kozik had hit the nail right on the head. As she past him Kozik grabbed her elbow and stopped her so they were eye to eye.

"If you don't tell Tig by the end of the day, I will"

"What could you possibly gain from that?" she asked astonished

"Other then making you miserable for a day, nothing" he went to walk out the door but stopped by her side "Welcome to my world"

She stood frozen to the spot she was standing in. How could she tell Alex that?

All of a sudden she was regretting what she did the night before. The only person's opinion she cared about was her Scarecrow and she didn't want to disappoint him, but today might be that day.

She felt sicked knocking on his door but it had to be done. The only way that Kozik couldn't use this against her, was to take his power away. She did that by telling Tig the truth. The bare minimum, but the truth none the less.

"Hey" he said opening the door

"Hi" she said giving him a hug hello. She held on for a little longer then she normally would. Tig held on to her tighter and knew something was really wrong.

"You okay"

"Umm" she said letting go "I have to tell you something and she maybe should sit down"

"O-kay" he said doing so.

"I wouldn't normally share this with you because not us and I just think it's weird but Kozik found out and he's using to against me so I'm beating him to it"

"Oh god. You're pregnant aren't you? You're going to have little baby Kozik. Princess you know that seed shouldn't spread, it should be drowned in chemicals"

Stella laughed which was what he was going for. "Trust me, it's not that but close"

"Oh geez"

"I went to a bar in Lodi last night and these guys were on my case"

"Woo, woo" he stopped her holding up his hands "What were you doing in Lodi by yourself?"

"That's not my point. These guys were on my case and wouldn't leave me alone until some one come to my rescue"

"Who?"

Stella pulled a face and he could tell she didn't want to say but she bite the bullet and quietly said "Kyle Hobart"

She heard Tig growl quietly "He worked he's magic didn't he?"

"Yep"

"Princess, seriously?"

"I know, I know and I'm sorry but I can't take it back" she said sitting next to him. He wrapped her up in his arms, as much as he hated the idea of Kyle Hobart even touching his princess. Tig had to love the fact that she could tell him something like that, even though she really didn't want too.

"Okay this is what we're going to do. It never happened"

"What?" she asked confused

"As far as I'm concerned, you have never had sex and will _never_have sex. _ever_"

"Okay"

"Let's never speak of this again"

"So a god damn deal"

" I need a drink" Tig told her pulling her up off the bed. " You?"

"I think I drank enough last night. I do stupid thing when drink"

"Agreed" he said getting the door for her. Stella could believe it had been that easy but she was glad that Kozik had no hold over her any longer. He had lost the battle and she'd have to see who won the war.


	9. Chapter 9

Thank you all for your beautiful reviews. You have no idea how much they all mean to me

love L

xox

* * *

Stella woke up with a jolt because she felt someone enter her bedroom; she sat up quickly with her gun in her hands. Waiting and ready.

"Wow" Tig said "It's just me"

"Jesus! Don't do that to a girl, when she lives alone. I could have killed you!"

"Sorry, although I am impressed. What do you keep the under your pillow?"

"In between the mattress and bed head, that way if something goes wrong the floor gets shot and not my head"

"Good plan"

"What's going on?" she asked rubbing her eyes.

"I need your help"

Stella frowned at him and knew that this couldn't be good, since he was waking her up at six o'clock in the morning to tell her. In fact that he was letting her be involved in club business spoke volumes, it meant the guys were backed into a corner and had no choice.

"Okay, make me a cup coffee, while I get dressed and you can tell me all about it"

She wandered out of her bedroom five minutes later in a maxi dress, since the heat was already unbearable. Stella hated summer; she normally traveled around the global just to avoid it. No such luck this year, she had to sit in Charming and puddle. She sat on one of the stools at the breakfast bar before he placed a mug of coffee in front of her, he was also cooking her breakfast. All was not right in Who-ville.

"You haven't cooked me breakfast since I was a kid. What's going on?"

"Trying to butter you up to do the club a favor"

This worried her more then ever. They all knew that she do whatever for them but they liked to keep her safe so they didn't ask much of her. The fact they he was buttering her up for something meant it was something she wouldn't want to do, which meant it was involving a certain someone, she had been avoiding like the plague.

"Okay spill" she said picking up her coffee cup.

Tig looked at her apprehensively before sliding a plate of food towards her.

"So we need some information and Alvarez has that information but wont share like a good little boy. So since he hasn't seen you since your where like ten so, yeah"

"Alex, even if I did go in there. I'm a woman and they wouldn't tell me anything other then how fine my ass is"

"That's why you're not going alone and your going has arm candy"

"Oh no" she said putting down her cup and hopping off the stool "No!"

"Princess, I know you're pissed and I love that you're not talking him right now but we're in dire straits and we need to know this stuff if we're going to get the upper hand. I wouldn't ask you."

"Alex, he stalked me and then blackmailed me into telling you something I would _never_have told you. No!"

Tig walked over and stood in front of her as she pouted at him, just like the time when she was a little girl and asked him to buy her a doll but he refused. These days she hated dolls just freak her out, just as much as they did him.

"I swear you can go back to hating him tomorrow. I promise"

"Geez, I must love you"

"Thank you"

She wasn't happy about it but it had to be done, she was going to have to suck it up, buttercup and get on with the job at hand.

She walked into the auto shop dressed in a one shoulder banded tee dress, the same green as her eyes, which only made them pop and sky high black suede pumps. Jax walked up behind her, everything time he saw her, he noticed something different. Like today he noticed that she had legs for days.

"Well, at least on the way back you can beat to death with your shoes"

She turned around and smiled at him.

"Yeah, they would a good weapon wouldn't they?"

Jax wrapped his arm around her shoulders before she cuddled into him, for support emotional and otherwise because her shoes were killing her feet

"Thanks for this, Stella" he told her " I know it's not easy given it's Koz"

"It's okay" she said.

He could tell she wasn't looking forward to it the whole thing , she was even sad about it but she was doing it for them because that was Stella. He pulled her in and held her tight before kissing her on the temple. Kozik had seen the whole thing Jax walking up to her, checking Stella out as he did. Jax being overly affectionate. Why didn't anybody else see it? The way Jackson looked at her, all the time. The way he was with her, it was so clear to Kozik that Jackson wanted her, how come no one else saw it?

"You ready to get going?" he asked roughly walking past them.

"Do I have a choice? Alex asked and I'm not going to let him down"

"Heaven forbid you let your _Scarecrow _down" he said as they walked over to the car

"If you don't want me to go, just say the word but you'll have to be the one to tell Clay and Alex why I wasn't there. Like they wanted"

Kozik looked over the car roof at her, knowing that wasn't an opinion

"_Get_in the car"

They drove to where they were driving to, in silence. He had actually been looking forward to seeing her today, working together but as soon as Kozik saw her with Jax, all of that changed. He looked away from the road and saw her feet in those shoes and then her legs; he slowly looked her over, as she stared out the window. She looked sensational but she hadn't dressed that way for him.

"We're going to see Alvarez and you wear that"

Stella looked over at him shocked, normally he didn't mind when she dressed like this but clearly he had gotten up on the wrong side of the bed, that morning.

"Alex told me I was arm candy. So I'm playing the part"

"And you always do what Tig asks you"

"What is your deal? Do you not want my help?"

"I don't need _your _help. What you think because you went in guns blazing a few weeks ago, that you are a force to be reckoned with? Stella you weight about a buck fifty soaking wet and you're five foot nothing. You think you'd be any help to me in there if things went bad?" He told her not looking away from the road. Stella chuckled, pouted, stared back out the window and didn't say a word.

"What?" he asked "Not talking to me now?"

"Nope. Not until we get there"

"Wow that's real mature, Stella"

Stella shook her head in pure surprise and looked over at him shocked but smiling because she was amused

"You're talking to me about maturity, really?" she asked "Kozik, your pissed at me for something you have no right to be pissed about"

"You slept with an excommunicated member, Stella"

"And then you _blackmailed_me"

"I thought you weren't talking to me" he said smiling at her. Stella rolled her eyes before ignoring him and this time it was until they got there.

Stella hopped out of the car as gracefully as possible, given how short her dress was, that was actually quite difficult and she moved over to Kozik side of the car. He face her and pinned her up against the car, she looked at him surprised before he kissed her. She had flash backs to their _goodbye_kiss that made them both say hello. Kozik smiled after he heard her moan but still didn't stopping kissing her, until he was ready to stop. Stella looked at him stunned before asking

"What was that?"

"I'm playing the part" he told her before kissing her again quickly. Well it was half true. He wrapped his arms around her shoulder as they walked inside. Stella had to admit she was impressed at how Kozik was handling himself with the Mayans, not that she would have told him that but that didn't make it less true. She was doing pretty good too, given the fact that her heart was beating out o her chest because she thought that they were going to recognise her, from years ago. That fear dropped away after a while and she got wrapped up in the conversation that was taking place and then she forgot the part she was playing.

"How about the Irish pipeline?"

The whole room fell silent and she knew they were in trouble. She didn't know what to do next, her brain was frozen because even her brain knew how badly she had screwed up. She didn't see it coming, Kozik back handed her it sounded worse then it actually was but it still hurt like hell, she yelped but resisted the urge punch him square in the nose. He told her to stop talking about stuff; she knew nothing about before dragging her out by her elbow. When he knew the Mayans couldn't see them he gently lent her against the car and took her face in his hands tenderly, it was already swollen.

"Let me have a look" Stella angrily swatted his hands away and gave him a murderous glare " Listen, take the keys got back to the clubhouse and I'll meet you there"

Stella snatched the keys out of his hands and got in the car, slamming the door behind her. As she drove away he could help but feel horrid. He never wanted to see her hurt that way and especially by his own hand. She pissed him off most days but he did love her and this was killing him but he couldn't focus on that right now, he had a job to do.

Stella sat at the bar back at the clubhouse as Opie got some ice for her. Jax gently turned her face to the side to get a better look and shook his head, he basically had steam coming out of his ears. God help Kozik walked back into this place, he wasn't going to get out alive. She hissed as Opie put the cloth of ice to her cheek.

"Sorry"

Tig came in stomping clearly someone had told him what state she was in. Clay wasn't far behind him.

"I'm fine"

"I'm going to kill them"

"It wasn't the Mayan's"

There was no mistaking the murderous look in his eyes, she often gave the same look, especially when it came to Kozik

"What?"

"Hear me out" she told him "I opened my big mouth and almost got us exposed. He was just fixing my mistake"

"Princess, I don't care if you kicked him in the balls and then set him on fire. He doesn't get to touch you"

She laughed at the vision in her head she was getting of herself doing that to Kozik and she smile could have lit up the room. "Listen I've been a little slap happy with him lately, just think of it as backwards Karma."

"You have?"

"Yeah I mean when I came back he was saying that you were dead already so of course I hit him because that just not on and then he was talking about my mother so I slapped him for that"

"Whoa, what did he say about Savannah?"

Stella wanted to take that back now, she shouldn't have mentioned her mother knowing how Tig had felt about her, so Stella tried to back peddle, very quickly.

"I mean it was more about me not wanting to be in love, like she was with Daddy. Not wanting to love someone so much that I'd die for them"

"I don't see that as a bad thing" Tig said moving the ice from her face and looking at the damage, he shook his head " Are you going to deal with _this_ or am I?"

" I will"

" Stel, I don't just mean a talking too. I mean…"

" I know what you mean. I promise I'll take care of it"

The guys left Stella with Opie, once they were outside Jax turned to Tig and asked " We're taking care of this right? No matter what she do to him"

"You better believe it, Brother"

Jax couldn't help but smiling he was looking forward to it.


	10. Chapter 10

When Kozik walked back to the clubhouse he expect everyone there to kick his ass, no doubt they knew already. Plus Stella had been pissed at him before she left and why wouldn't she be, given what had happened but when he walked in no one was there. Surely she would have told them and there was no escaping the mark on her face. This wasn't good. He lent up against the bar and tried to figure out what was happening. It wasn't until he heard high heels clicking on concrete Kozik took a deep breath because he knew who it was and he knew that this was going to hurt. She was still dressed in the green dress and killer heels and he hoped they weren't going to be her weapon of choice. They just stared at each other for a few seconds, but after a while he couldn't stand the silence.

"Do they know?"

"Yep"

"Do they want to kill me?"

"Yep" she said with a chuckle "But I told them I'd take care of it"

"Okay" he said lumbering up and down, before beckoning Stella over with a crook of his finger. He wanted to get this over with and remembered that she threw a pretty good right hook. Stella laughed and shook her head. "What? Come on"

"Let's not and say I did" she said before walking behind the bar "Relax, take a seat. I opened my big mouth and forgot where I was. I forgot sometimes how good I have it around here. The guys respect Gemma and I .We get away with a lot that women wouldn't in the world we live in. You were only trying to protect me, Koz"

He frowned at her before sitting down and he watched her pour him a beer. Now he was a little alarmed. Kozik would have preferred Stella kicked his ass. It would have made him feel better about what he didn't. He watched her work the bar like a pro.

"Woman's got skills"

"Bartender in Dublin and Nashville"

"Nashville huh? Did you sing?" he said with a smile on his lips "From what I remember, Stel. You had an amazing voice"

"She gets that from her mother" a voice said from the darken hallway. Tig walked out calm and toward Kozik. Stella looked from Tig to Kozik.

"Sorry, I can't save you from this one" she said quietly

"It's okay. I have it coming"

Tig sidled up next to Kozik and lent his crossed arm on the bar top and stared Kozik down. Kozik did the same, Stella felt like she was in the middle of an old western.

"You ever hurt her again" Tig said looking over at Stella then back to Kozik "Or I hear you utter Savannah's name. I will personally drive you out into the Nevada desert to bury you, and Kozik you won't be dead when I do"

Stella walked out from behind the bar as Tig walked away. They touched hands as he walked past her and she smiled. It felt good someone having her back. She had been alone for so long. Kozik took a deep breath in relief.

"Could have been worse" Stella told him sliding up next to him. Kozik turned to face her before he smiled and asked

"How so?"

Suddenly he was hit with a right hook, she put her whole body into it The first hit was followed by a secondary blow. It didn't hurt as much as the first but it certainly wasn't a love tap, neither.

"He could have done that" she said before walking away.

Kozik could feel the blood rushing to his left eye and a headache forming. Did she try and trick him into a false sense of security? Or did she just simply change her mind.

"What was with the beer and the _Relax, take a seat_?" he called out watching her walk towards the back rooms.

"Height difference" she yelled back at him without looking back. Kozik watched her walk away and couldn't help but smile Stella had definitely gone for the false sense of security approach.

Tig didn't even knock before entering the room. Stella was nursing her arm and looked like she was in pain but he was still so proud of her and glad he was there to see it happen.

"That was _awesome_!"

"Ow"

"Your hand?"

"Yeah that hurts but not as much as my elbow"

"You went in with the elbow!"

"Of course, look at him and then look at me; I need all the help I can get"

She was tired, in pain and just wanted to go home and go to sleep. It had been a long day and she was ready for it to be over. He could see the pain and fatigue in her face. It didn't take him long to wrapped his Princess up in his arms. "You did good, kiddo"

"I stuffed up" she told him "It could have been so much worse"

"But it wasn't and that's what matters. Let's take you home"

"Okay" she agreed "I'm sick of looking like a slut, anyhow"

"I think you look hot"

"Of course you do, Alex" she said laughing as they walked out of the clubhouse.

Meanwhile Kozik was in the kitchen looking for the first aid kit, bandages or something to make the cut above his eye stop bleeding but he was having no such luck.

"What are you doing?" a female voice asked. He looked up to see Gemma in the doorway with her hands on her hips

"First aid kit" he said quickly.

Gemma walked across the kitchen and opened the cabinet above the sink, grabbing the kit before walking over to him.

"Sit. You're getting mess everywhere" Kozik did what he was told, but only because he didn't want to get hit again "Tig?"

"Stella"

"Really?"

"I don't know what else to do Gemma. She drives me nuts and she doesn't listen. I don't know how many times I have to tell her I love her and that I'm sorry. She doesn't listen"

"Stella is stubborn, Koz"

"Does she get that from her mother too?"

"Nope, she gets that from Tig"

They were quiet as Gemma patched him up. Gemma could see that he was deep in thought, about Stella no doubt. She wondered when else two were going to get it together and actually be happy. They fought like cats and dogs, but when they get in a really messed-up situation, they're always there for each other. Clearly she was going to have to give him a push in the right direction.

"Listen, you have to show her, that you love her"

"I have"

"No I don't mean for one night, Kozik. You crushed her and Stella wouldn't admit to it but you damaged her somewhere deep inside her and you're the only one that can make that better. I'm not talking about words and trinkets because at the end of the day their just words and a _beautiful _ring. You know why she is so stubborn it's because she scared, Baby. Stella knows if you crush her again, she won't come back from it"

"Gemma.."

Gemma held her hand up and stopped him talking. "You have to show her that you love her. If you show her, she won't be able to deny what she feels. Prove it to her because under her strong kick ass attitude, she just wants someone to have her back. We all do"

Gemma fastened the butterfly clip on his eyebrow and looked at him "Thanks Gemma. For everything"

"Kozik, she's our little girl, go make her happy"

That's all he needed to hear before he jumped on his bike and rode over to Stella's place.

Stella felt ten times better after her shower. She walked out in her favoutie jeans and a terry hoodie jacket, she walked out into the longue room as she took the clip out of her hair and shook her head.

"That's unfair. Here you are looking like every man fantasy, with the slow mo hair thing going on"

She smiled at him sitting in her longue room, like he was meant to be there.

"In my defence, I don't know you were here"

Kozik held up the spare key and smiled before saying "Frog"

She was really going to have to hide that key in a better place. She saw the burise on his face, there was no missing it.

"Was that me?" she asked pointing to it. He just nodded his head and stood up " You and that ring Tig brought you for your eighteenth"

"No that ring is on my left hand"

"Then what hit me?" he asked reaching down and bring her right hand up. He was shocked to see what was there. The engagement ring he had given her.

"It doesn't mean what you think it means. I just like it"

He reached over and brushed her cheek, much softer then the last time, she flinch a little from the pain and Kozik hated himself for was right, he had only given her words and empty promises. He'd have to prove that he loved her. As he brushed her skin Stella felt the goosebumps run down her arm. Stella stepped away,out of his touch but he gently took a hold of her hand again and pulled her towards him.

"Koz…"

"Stel, stop it. Stop running from me. Just stop"

Stella looked up at him and there was so much vulnerability in her face that he couldn't help but want to fix it. There was only one thing for it, Kozik lent down and kissed her. He grabbed her under her arms and took her off her feet.

"Oh" she said surprised, that she was now off the ground. She looked at him inquisitively.

"Height difference"

She laughed and quickly took the cut off his back before kissing him again. They both guessed that they had a lot of time to catch up on.


	11. Chapter 11

When Kozik woke up Thursday morning to find Stella not by his side in bed, he looked confused. They had locked themselves in her house for three days straight, doing whatever they wished and one thing in particular. To wake up alone without her felt foreign to him, given the fact that they had been without each other for almost nine years. He hadn't counted on that. He listened for a second, no shower running, and no noise in the house. He sat up, put some clothes on and walked out of the bedroom but he still couldn't hear anything. He turned the corner into the kitchen and there she was sitting at the kitchen table wearing one of his t-shirts and hardly anything else, reading a book and eating breakfast. He snuck up behind her and quickly kissed her neck, in the process scaring the heck out of her.

"Geez!"

"Morning"

"When did you wake up?" she asked as he sat beside her.

"Few minutes ago, what are you doing out here?"

"We need to come up for some air and get out of this house. Everyone is going to start talking"

"Stel, I think they know already"

"Really?"

"Babe, we've been missing for three days"

Stella looked slightly embarrassed; she hated the fact that everybody knew her business. It wouldn't normally matter to her but this is not a part of her life she liked to share. She laid her head on the table and shook her head

"That wasn't smart was it?"

"I think it's the smartest thing we've done in years"

She looked up at him and smiled. The damage on her face had basically healed, expect for a few marks. He reached and brushed her cheek softly, she could see in his eyes that he was still torn up inside about it all. He probably always would be.

"Don't worry about it" she said softly "You're not the first guy to slap me around"

Once she saw the expression on his face Stella knew it had been the wrong thing to say. She quickly got up from the table and placed her bowl in the sink.

"Who?"

"Baby, it doesn't matter" she said with her back to him.

He quickly got up from the table and stood behind her. Stella could feel him there but didn't turn around but she saw his hands on either side of her, he had boxed her in and then Stella knew that she had to tell him, there was no getting away with it. She finally turned around to face him.

"Who?" he asked quietly but he was pissed, she could see it in his eyes and hear it in his voice.

"Parker, but it was straight after I told him that I cheated" She drew him in closer and hugged him tight, hoping it would calm him down. It didn't matter to her anymore, it was in the past. Kozik and Stella had found their way back to each other, they took the long way around but they were finally there.

"I knew I should have kick his arse when I had the chance"

"It's doesn't matter Baby, right here, right now. That's what matters" He kissed her quickly before she pulled away "I have to work at the auto shop today"

"Okay" he said stepping back and nodding his head. He quickly picked her up and threw her over his shoulder "Better make it quick then" Stella laughed all the way to the bedroom.

Opie walked into the office and saw Stella sitting behind the desk with her glasses on, reading invoices. He hadn't seen her in a few days he had a pretty good idea where she had been and he was pretty happy about it.

"She resurfaces!" he said loudly

"Hey"

"Surprised you can sit down"

She was going to lie and act dump but there was no point he knew about Koz and he knew that she knew. "It's not the sitting down, it the standing up that the problem. You seem okay with it all"

"Yeah you two were driving me mental with the back and forth. I was going to lock you two in a room but clearly you already did that"

"Oh god" she said blushing and burying her head in her hands. If Opie knew what she had been doing over the past few days, that meant everybody "Shut up. Can we stop talking about this please?"

"Why? Is it making you uncomfortable?"

"Yes!"

Opie erupted into laughter and loved seeing her squirm. He could she the change in her, she was happy and bright. Opie couldn't help but be happy for her.

"Was it a one night thing, like before?"

"No, it's more a wipe the slate clean. Start all over again type thing"

Opie looked at her stunned, he wasn't expecting that. Not many women would do that with the history that Kozik and Stella shared and the amount of pain that they had put each other through.

"Not looking forward to telling Alex though"

"Do you remember when you got kicked out of school because you broke that chick's nose? You thought he was going to kick your ass and what did he do?"

"He brought me the Porsche"

"Never know he might surprise you again" Opie told her before looking out the window " Um, Stella"

"What?" Stella hoped out of her chair and stood next to Opie. Stella took her glasses off before her face turned from happiness to shock into despair very quickly "Why can't life be simple?"

"What are you going to do?"

They both watched Parker walk across the lot, Stella shook her head because she just couldn't believe it. Why today of all days? After what she had told Kozik this morning, this was only going to end bloodily and ugly.

"Don't go into the clubhouse. _Don't go into the clubhouse_" she said to herself before Parker did exactly that what she said not to do "And he goes into the clubhouse"

"Why is that a bad thing?"

"Koz is in there" she told before leaving the office.

"Awesome" Opie said before following in her foot steps. When they got in there Kozik had just picked up Parker and slammed him into the wall. Stella watched on horrified knowing that there was really nothing she could do without getting hurt. Somethings she just had to let the guys handle. Her guys just watched the circus unfold in front of them but to Stella, it seemed like forever until they jumped in and broke Koz and Parker apart.

"You in the habit of hitting your girlfriend, buddy?" Kozik yelled at Parker

"At least she was going to marry me"

Kozik lunged at Parker before Opie held him back. Stella gracefully stepped forward and stood in front of Kozik. She had to work hard to get eye contact with him but when she did there was no breaking it. She took his face in both of her hands before she quietly said

"It's okay, calm down"

Stella looked up at Jax and silently told him to take Koz away. She watched as Jax and Opie pulled Kozik into church and waited until the door was closed before turning around in a flash and staring at Parker

"You outside, _now_!"

Parker followed her into the driveway. They were just as pissed at each other. Parker was pissed at the show of affection he had just seen, clearly Stella had wasted no time moving on from their engagement and well Stella was pissed because Parker had walked into her home and punched out the love of her life.

"Didn't take you long"

"Excuse me?" she spun around with fire in her eyes

"Did you wait until I drove away, to jump into his bed?"

"How is that any of your business? You dumped me!"

"Maybe I made a mistake!" he yelled back " I lied to the ATF for you. I could do jail time if they find out, All for _you_. What more do you want, Stella?"

"I want you to not walk into my home and assault my family, _Parker_. You're lucky you're not dead!"

She watched Parker pace up and down the driveway, back and forth. He was pissed. Had she really just called that piece of shit her family?

"He's your family?" he asked astonished "Well I guess I'll just go down to The Charming Police Station and ask to speak to Agent Stahl"

Stella laughed in his face before walking towards him; she got so close that their noses would be touching if she was as tall as him. She just smiled at him.

"You're blackmailing me? Really?" she chuckled "Look Parker you're new to this so I'll talk real slow for the brain cell impaired. The only thing that will happen if you go to Stahl is you'll be charged with obstruction of justice and you will possibly do some jail time. You don't think I can't find someone else to alibi me, for that night"

He had never seen such coldness in her green eyes before and she had been pissed at him plenty of times. He looked at her stunned for a second, who was this woman standing in front of him.

"Have you always been like this?"

"Yeah, it was just buried deep down inside. This comes out when me or my family gets threatened so if that was your next move. I'll warn you now the last lot of people who did threaten them, one guy ended up with a bullet in the head. A bullet to the knee cap of another and their boss I burnt down his house just for all the trouble he caused. You're a smart man, Parker. So that means you'll get in your car and drive away from here and never come back"

She didn't even watch him leave Stella just walked back inside steaming coming out of her ears. Everybody was going about their business like nothing had happened. Or like it was normal to have a brawl in the clubhouse everyday. She walked over to the church room and stood in the doorway. There was Clay sitting at the head of the table. Stella knocked softly and waited for him to look up.

"I'm sorry"

Clay smiled at her before waving Stella into the room. Stella walked down and sat in Tig's chair.

"Princess, it's not your fault you're so lovable"

"Is that something I get from my mother?"

Stella loved her mother. She loved what little she remembered of her and Stella loved the stories she had been told but Stella often felt like she was living in Savannah's shadow and that was a heavy burden to bare .

"Stella, Listen to me okay?" Clay said reaching out to hold her hand. "You look like your mother and certain things you do, it's like she is still here but Sweetheart you are also yourself and you're a force to be reckoned with. You were taught by Tig and Gemma but you're a mixture of everybody. I see Jax and Opie and sometimes even myself. Lovable or not Stella, you are one of us and we wouldn't have you any other way. There's a reason why you're our Princess. One thing for sure, if Kozik breaks your heart again, there is not going to be a grave shallow enough"

"Speaking of…"

"He is in the back"

Stella hopped up from the chair and headed for the door. Once she walked out Stella stopped and poked her head back in the doorway

"Hey Clay"

"Yeah"

"Thank you"

"You're welcome Sweetheart"

She made her way through the clubhouse and to Kozik's room and lightly knocked on the door before opening it. There was Gemma patching him up.

"How is the sick and the wounded?"

"He'll be fine" Gemma said placing a butterfly clip over his eyebrow " Is the ex alive?"

"Alive and on his way, god knows where"

"Any broken bones?"

"No. I just made him aware of what happens when someone puts my family in harms way. I don't think he knew that he's girlfriend was so handy with a gun"

Gemma laughed as she zipped up the first aid kit.

"You going to go talk to Tig?"

"That's my next stop"

"Good girl" Gemma told her before kissing Stella on the cheek and leaving the room, closing the door behind her.

Stella and Kozik stared at each other for the longest time before Stella was the one to break the silence

"Fighting? Really? How unlike you"

They both laughed as they thought of the past few days and weeks. Fighting was one of the things that they were both really good at.

"Please, like you're not turned on right now" he said standing up

"That's beside the point" she told him before he wrapped his arms around her. " You okay?"

"Yeah. You?"

"Better then ever"

"Really?" he said with a wicked smile before he let them fall on to the bed as Stella giggle as they fell.

Tig smiled at her as Stella came walking out, placing her over sized sunnies on to her nose, Stella hopped up and sat next to him on the picnic table. They didn't say anything for a while; she guessed there was just too much to say to each other. He was the first one to break the ice.

"So?"

"Yeah" she said translation being _Yes I'm seeing__Kozik__again_ but only her scarecrow would know that. They were speaking their own language again

"Okay"

That was one good thing about knowing each other so well. They didn't have to say much to have a conversation. Stella linked her arm into his and rested her head on his shoulder.

"You know you're the number one guy in my life, right?" she told him quietly "No matter what?"

"Yeah Princess I know" he said before kissing her on the forehead. They stayed like that for a while until she heard Tig start to laugh. Stella looked up at him and looked confused

"What?"

"The only way you to could move on was to beat the living crap out of each other"

Stella started laughing with him. Once she thought of it that way, he was right it was a little twisted, actually it was a lot twisted. She shook her head and looked up at him

"Well, I _am_ yours. Twisted just comes with the territory, doesn't?"

The truth was she wouldn't have it any other way. Everything seemed right in the world for that spilt second.


	12. Chapter 12

Everyone had gotten used to the sight of Stella and Kozik macking on each other, by now. It had been a daily sighting of the past fortnight. Stella pushed Kozik in the direction of the club house and she made her way into the auto shop office. There Gemma sat at the desk, looked up from the computer screen and smiled at her.

"Look at you, all giddy"

"He has that effect on me"

"I'm glad"

"What do you need me to do?"

"Actually, I was thinking of having a dinner tomorrow night. I need you pick up some things"

"Sure" Stella said taking the list from Gemma's fingertips. It was less of a list and more like a manifesto; this was going to take all afternoon. This list wasn't going to fit in her tiny car. Stella walked into the autoshop picked up the keys to Opie's pick up.

"Stealing a car is illegal, you know?" someone said at the door. Stella turned around to see Jax smirking at her, leaning against the door frame.

"I'm not stealing, I'm borrowing. Get it right" she told him laughing "Gemma is throwing a dinner tomorrow night and I need to go shopping"

"Of course she is. My mother and her dinners"

"Oh come on, you love it"

"Maybe" he said putting his arm across the doorway, effectively blocking her exit. Not that he realized of course "Do you want company?"

"Nah, I should be alright but thanks, Jax" she said kissing him on the cheek and ducking under his arm. Kozik was watching from afar and Jax was really starting to get on his nerves. Of course he would never say anything to Stella because she would just laugh and tell Kozik he was crazy. Stella had only never seen Jax as a brother type and why wouldn't she, they had grown up together but one thing was clear Jax no longer thought of her as a little sister. For now he was just going to keep an eye on it and if Jax made a move, Kozik was definitely going to be there. He watched Stella walk outside and towards the pick up, only too aware that his eyes weren't the only eyes on Stella at that moment.

Stella dropped the last of the bags in the back of the trunk and felt like she had ran a marathon. This was going to be one heck of a dinner, given by Gemma's standards'

"Mmmmm, Stella Allison Mackenzie" Someone said behind her "You sure have changed since I last saw you"

Stella heart started pounding and her breath could caught up in her throat, it was Darby.

"How you going, Ernie?"

"Been better, Darlin'"

"Yeah, I heard about your place. That's too bad"

"I am supposed to believe that. Tigger was involved and _everybody_ knows you been giving it up to Tig for years and no one messes with your Scarecrow"

"Haven't you spoken to ATF? I was in New Orleans at the time"

"You're forgetting about Dylan?"

"Who?" she asked sweetly before turning around and unlocking the car door.

Suddenly Darby's hand wrapped around her neck, spun her and pinned her up against the pickup. Stella turned her face but could feel his breath on her cheek, it made her want to throw up in her mouth.

"You know Stella karma is sneaky and can creep up on you, but before then maybe I should try my luck with you. You've been with Tig and the new guy. Now that Jax has parted ways with the doctor, the little prince is might as well be next." He said running his hand up and own her body. He lightened his grip and she breathed in deep.

"I don't think that would be a good idea, Ernie" she told him "My mother was Jewish. Not unless you want to switch sides?"

He stepped back and released her slowly

"I'll be seeing you Stella" he said smiling and walking away. She opened the door and sat down before taking a deep breath and resting her head on the steering wheel.

There was no escaping the red mark that had appeared around her neck by the time she got but to the auto shop. She didn't have make up with her, she wasn't one of those women that carried it around with her every single day, mainly because it made her bag too heavy and the guys would make fun of her, if she did. Luckily she had a scarf in the back of her car that was going to come in real handy. She walked into the office and Jax was in there collecting keys.

"Hey" he said once he saw her

"Hey, just bring Opie's truck back"

"Need help with the bags?"

"Nah, their at Gemma's already"

She was avoiding eye contact with him and that made Jax real suspicious. Stella made her way to the door and thought she had gotten away with it, as the weight started to lift off her shoulders. "What's with the scarf?" he asked suspiciously.

Her number was up and Stella knew it but she was going to try and bluff her way out of it, anyhow. She turned around smiling at him

"It's called a fashion statement, you should try it someday" she joked " I mean with something other plaid and leather"

She was playing confident but there was fear in her eyes and he had very rarely seen that fear in Stella. Jax slowly walked towards her and gently unwrapped the scarf from around her neck. When he saw the red mark around her neck, it was like it slapped him in the face. Jax could basically make out the shape of the fingers.

"What happened?"

"It was nothing"

"Bullshit!" Jax said touching the mark softly " If it was Kozik, I swear to god.."

"Jesus, it wasn't Koz. It was Darby. He cornered me in the street"

"Did he threaten you?"

Stella chuckled and smiled up at him. "I killed his friend and burnt down his house. What do you think? But Jackson, this between us, our secret. Promise me?"

"Stella…"

"Please?"

He looked into her pleading eyes and there was no way he could say no to her. Jax started to wonder if this was how Tig felt all those years ago with Savannah. Being head over heels in love with her, yet having to watch her be so in love with someone else and yet still wanting to make her happy, still want to rescue her from whatever was troubling her and that's why he agreed to keep in quiet. Stella hugged him tight, he tried to ignore the fact that she smelt like cup cakes because that little fact wasn't going to help his situation.

"When did you break up with Tara?" she asked muffled by their hug. He pulled back and looked down at her surprised.

"Who told you that?"

"Darby!" she said jokingly outraged " When did it happen?"

"Before you came back to find Tig. You hade so much going on and then you were dealing with everything with Koz. Now you're in your love bubble, I just did want to get in the way of any of it"

Stella looked at him amazed that Jax had kept that little gem of information to himself and for so long. Stella shook her head and chuckled before telling him

"You're an idiot, Teller"

"I know" he chuckled.

"Can we keep today under wraps? I mean it. Tig _can't_ know about this"

They heard footsteps enter the office before a voice asked

"Tig, can't know about what?"

Jax and Stella looked exactly like the time they were teenagers and he had caught them smoking a joint in Stella's bedroom. It was their _Oh-no-we're-in-deep-shit_ face

"Darby cornered her in the street, today"

"_Jackson!_"

"What?" he questioned " It's not like you two can keep a secret from each other, anyway"

"Is that what happened to your neck?"

"Yeah" she said quickly "But considering what I did to Darby, I think I got off pretty lightly"

"I'm going to kill him"

"I'm going to join you" Jax agreed before Stella shook her head at them. She completely disagreed

"That's what he wants"

"And we're going to give it to him" Jax told her.

"Be smart about this. Everybody knows if they want to hurt you. I am going to be the target" Stella told Tig " It's like clock work ,Alex. Don't play his game. Do not play into his hands"

They both took a second to think, which was hard through the blind rage. Jax wrapped his arm around her and brought her in for a hug before kissing her forehead.

"What's going on in here?" a voice asked. Kozik walked into the room steam basically coming from his ears. Although he didn't want to tell Stella his thoughts on Jax because he knew she would laugh them off. He couldn't keep his anger contained, any opportunity Jax could find to be all over Stella, he took it. It was really starting to rub Kozik the wrong way.

"Where the hell were you?" Tig asked " You've been joined at the hip for three week and then when she needs you. You're not where to be seen"

"What are talking about?" Kozik frowned

"It's nothing" Stella said softly trying to calm him down "I ran into Darby but its fine"

"Yeah, its fine" Jax said before gently pull the scarf from her neck. Stella hated the expression on his face as he took in all the damage.

"What are we going to do about it?" Kozik asked looking directly at Tig.

"Nothing" Stella jumped in before anyone could say anything different. He just stared at her amazed.

"Take her home. Take _care_of her" Tig ordered. Stella breathed a subtle sigh of relief knowing that this was now over. She hugged Jax tight and whispered thank you. Kissed Tig goodbye and walked with her man to her car.

Once they got home Stella dropped her handbag on the sofa and took off her jacket. She looked over at Kozik who looked like he was worlds away, lost in his own thoughts.

"Hey?" she said "What's wrong?"

"It's my second chance and I'm fucking it all up"

"Hey?" She said frowning; she lightly took his hand and pulled him towards the sofa. He sat next to her before Stella rested her legs across his lap and pulled him close.

"Baby, I'm sorry"

"Look at me" she said lacing her fingers together behind his neck "You have nothing to be sorry for. We can't be together twenty-four/ seven. Bad stuff is going to happen, but you know what? We've been through worse and survived. We survived nine years apart and made our way back to each other. You think we can't survive _Darby_?"

"Your life was easier when you hated me" he said with a chuckle

"Easier? Maybe. Better? Absolutely not"

He kissed her quickly before she hugged him tight. The truth was that he was doing so many things wrong but no one knew it yet.


	13. Chapter 13

Jax chuckled as he pulled up on his bike. Stella's comment from the previous week about fashion statements, flashed back into his mind. _It's called a fashion statement, you should try it someday. I mean with something other plaid and leather._ He laughed because that was exactly what she was wearing. Black jeans, long red plaid button up and short leather Sgt Pepper's jacket.

"Hey" he called out, cutting off the engine. Stella smiled at Jax and walk in his direction.

"Morning" she said as he held out a spare helmet. Stella looked at the helmet and the back up at Jax. " I can't"

"I thought we fixed this, before?"

"You did" she agreed "Kind of"

"I thought you were fearless?"

"Well, I'm not. I'm human"

The fear in her eyes was unmistakable, she wasn't comfortable at all. Her fear of riding was deeper then Jax first thought.

"Nothing is going to happen, Babe. I promise"

"You can't promise something like that Jax."

He handed her the helmet again, she sighed and placed it on her head feeling totally defeated and partly annoyed because she really didn't to get on that bike. It was childish and she knew that she needed to face her fear but there was a very good reason why she was scared. Stella placed the helmet on her head before he adjusted the strap under her chin. It was right about then that Gemma saw them, she watched Jax and Stella for a few seconds and it was like a door opened. It wasn't the first time Gemma had seen that look on her son's face, she just wondered how long it had been going on for. Of course Stella had no clue but she was head in the clouds in love if Kozik, why would she notice? Gemma made a mental note to ask her son about this whole thing later. Gemma just smiled and watched them ride off together, the whole thing was almost too prefect. The Prince and the Princess, did she dare hope?

Jax pulled into the park, shut off the engine and waited for Stella grip around his waist to lighten. It didn't. He rested one of his hands over both of hers before she took a deep breath. He had really thought that their last ride would have helped this trepidation she had about motorcycles. When she was younger, they had to pry Stella off her motorcycle each day; she loved that damn thing so much. She had been on a motorcycle since she could walk. Jax needed to understand where it was all coming from.

"You're okay" he told her softly before hoping off the bike and holding a hand out for her. Stella took it lightly and slowly hopped of the back. "Tig doesn't know about this, does he?"

"_No!_ You're not going to telling. It would kill him knowing I'm not comfortable on those things"

He helped down on to the grass and then noticed the height and length of her boots.

"Geez. How do you walk in those things?"

"You try and being five foot nothing and stand next to Opie"

"Point taken" he said with a chuckle. "Tell me what's going on, Stel. I'm starting to worry about you. You use to love your bike"

"I still do love them, from afar. I'm still in love with the sound and when I'm on them I'm fine for a minute or two but then I feel the rain and hear the truck, smell the burnt rubber and I'm back there. Lying on a wet road three hundred pounds of bike on top of me. Water seeping into my helmet" Stella shook her head and without knowing it held her stomach, he noticed but didn't say anything " There has been very few moments in my life when I felt completely helpless. That is right up there. Deep down I know it's not a fear of the bike, isn't the fear of that helplessness returning at the wrong moment. When my family needs. That scares the shit out of me"

"Won't happen" he told her matter of fact hold her hand

" You don't know that"

"Yes I do"

Stella just smiled at him and shook her head. Wondering how he could have so much faith in her.

"Since we're opening Pandora's box, can I ask you a question?"

"Sure"

"Why didn't it work out with Tara?"

"She couldn't handle it. She wanted to know everything but couldn't handle it"

"It's a lot to handle, Jax"

"Yeah, I know. Some women aren't cut out to be an old lady I guess"

"It's a tough job but someone gotta do it" she joked.

He chuckled before standing and hold out his hands. He pulled her up in one go as she laughed.

"This is what we're going to do about this whole bike thing. I'm not going to tell Tig but once a week, you and I are going to be on the back of that bike until you get use to it again. Deal?"

"Do I have a choice?"

"Not really, Babe"

"That's what I thought" she told him laughing "Let's go"

"Alright" he said bending down picked her up at the knees and flung Stella over his shoulder. He laughed out loud when she screamed and called him a caveman.

Gemma watched them hop off the bike and Stella handing Jax the helmet before playfully push him and running in the opposite direction. The smile on her son's face said a whole lot more the words ever could. He walked into the office and smiled at her before sitting down and resting his feet on the desk, much like Gemma was herself.

"You have a good afternoon?"

"Yeah"

"Something you need to tell me?"

"That pot wasn't mine. I was holding it for a friend" he joked.

"You're funny. I was talking about Stella. Having you been seeing our Princess in a new light?"

The smile fell from his face instantly and he shook his head. Jax just couldn't believe that she had figured it out.

"Is it obvious?"

"Only because I'm you're mother and I've seen that look before. Since when, Jax?"

Jax chuckled and shook his head remembering that moment when everything in his world shift

"She lying on my bike in a red trench coat, tight arse jeans and tall black boots"

"You remember what she was wearing? Son, you're in trouble"

"Trust me, Ma. I know and I think Kozik's on to me"

"You might want to watch that" Gemma warned "Now that he has her back. Koz is not going to let her go easily, if ever"

Jax nodded his head in agreement before standing up out of his chairs, since he wanted this conversation to be over. He was under no illusion that anything was going to happened between himself and Stella. Jax was actually positive that his feeling for her would go away in time. It was just the in-between times that worried him.

Stella walked across the driveway and she saw her scarecrow working on a caddy. Stella walked up to him and lent against the car and worked him work for a second or two.

'Pass me the wrench?" he asked. Suddenly she had a flash back to her childhood. They had spent hours together in the auto shop. This is how he had taught about cars and tools for that matter. She picked up the closest wrench and handed it to him.

"Here"

"Was that Jax's bike you got off, before?"

"Yeah" she said trying not to laughing, wondering what the big deal was "He thinks I don't spent enough time on a motorcycle"

"I like that you don't, anymore. Reminds me too much of your accident and everything that happened to you afterwards"

Stella froze on the spot and wondered what he was talking about. Was he only talking about the motorcycle accident? Or did he know everything? He looked up at her and there was something in his eyes and she knew the answer to her question.

"How long have you known?" she asked quietly

"Princess, I've known the whole time. I was with you every second I could be at the hospital I heard the doctors talking about the baby and _everything _else"

"Why didn't you say anything?" she asked him astonished.

"It seemed like you didn't want me to know" he laughed out loud for a second "Just like you didn't want me to know about you and _Opie _"

Stella cracked up laughing, what else could she do? Clearly she had no secrets from him. He lent up against the car, right next to her.

"I've got something for you"

Stella raised her eyebrows and smiled at him

"That sounds dirty"

"Princess, that is just your mind"

"Whose faults that?" she joked. Tig laughed because he knew it was he's fault. He just shook his head and handed Stella her present. Stella looked down at the brown and turquoise leather case.

"It's a knife"

"Carry it on you, from now on"

"Alex…."

"I mean don't be all _I'm Jax and here's Bowie_ about it, but just keep it on you in case Darby wants to get fresh again"

"I have a gun for that. It's in my bag"

"Stella.."

"Okay. I'll take it" she said giving up. 

"Thank you. Where is your man, anyway?"

Stella laughed at him for a second and she looked at him like he was crazy "You guys have him on a run"

"No we don't" They looked at each other confused for a minute. Stella was positive that was what Kozik told her last night but he did like to talk and she did have the tendency to stop listening late at night. Maybe she heard wrong. "Might be a Tacoma thing?"

"Yeah that could be it" she said smiling. She looked over a the caddy "Do you want some help"

Tig just, nodded his head and they both got back to work.


	14. Chapter 14

Kozik quietly unlocked the front door, trying not to wake Stella. He was getting back at six thirty after finishing his _run _.He smiled when he saw her fast asleep on the sofa. He brushed the hair out of her face and kissed her cheek, before her eyes fluttered up and she looked up at him.

"Hi"

"Hey" she said smiling up at him "You're home"

"Yeah. Come to bed"

"I can't" she said checking her watch "I have to get Chibs' birthday going. Gemma needs help"

This was news to Kozik but then again he hadn't been at home a lot lately, so there was no reason he would know. He sat on the floor next to her

"Party?"

"You don't have to go" she told him quietly as he rested his head on her chest.She brushed his hair down with her hand, Stella definitely had that healing touch that made everything else fade away. "Or you don't have to stay for long. It's up to you"

"So tired"

"Go to bed" she suggested slowly. Kozik looked up at her.

"Come with me. Just for a little bit"

Stella nodded her head before he pulled her off the couch and walked behind her. She could quite explain how she felt so safe wrapped up in his arms but she did. Stella feared that they had turned into the cute couple that made everyone else throw up but she did care because she was happy, for the first time in a long time. She felt him kiss her neck and she could help but close her eyes and enjoy it.

"Do me a favor, today?" he asked buried in her neck

"Hmm"

"Be really careful. I have a bad feeling that something is off. It's eerily. Wear a bullet proof vest on or something"

Stella crack up laughing and turned around to face him.

"I'm not going to wear a bullet proof vest but I will be careful. Deal?"

"Okay. I'll take what I can get" he told her as they reached the bedroom. She watched him drop straight off to sleep and watched him for a while. He was scared that something was going to happen to her and Stella was worried that if she really showed how happy she was the universe was going to start spinning in the other direction and this was all going to be taken away from her. Stella could never hold on to happiness for too long. She was scared that it was all going to end. When she was sure he was well and truly out cold she moved Kozik's arm and crawled out from under the covers and had a quick shower, before getting dress and walking out the door.

Later that day Stella watched on with a smile on her face as she watched Emily Duncan tried to put the moves on to her man. Normally Stella would have been over there in a heart beat and broken Emily's nose but instead she was stifling her laughter because Kozik was clearly uncomfortable. Suddenly Opie was standing by her side.

"You're not going to save him?"

"Nope, Karma is a bitch and so am I. Actually enjoy watching him squirm"

"Came play pool"

She followed him over to the pool talk were Jax, Juice and the prospect were gathered. Prospect and Jax are playing pool, she watched the prospect sink the winning shot.

"Pay up" the prospect demanded

"Double or nothing" Jax offered

Stella stood back and watched the macho posturing closely. She had been spending so much time with Koz that she hadn't realized just how much she had missed her boys.

"No double or nothing" Juice told them "Me and Stella need a rematch"

She laughed when she thought of their last match together, Juice had won with the eight ball while Stella was too busy with Jax, trying to make Kozik jealous and it had worked too, the only down side was the fact that she had lost the game.

"You're on! Rack 'em"

She was never was able to back down from a challenge. She took the cue from Jax's hands and waited for Juice to break. He was going good, that was until he wasn't and Stella took over and big time. They watched Juice get his backside handed to him, by a girl and they weren't the only ones watching. Kozik was watching her every move and in particular her interaction with Jax. He didn't even notice when Gemma came walking up behind him. She followed his line of view and knew exactly what Kozik was thinking.

"Don't worry. As far as she's concerned, there is only one man in the room. Well maybe two if you count the scarecrow"

"You can't forgot the scarecrow"

"Nope, so don't even try" Gemma chuckled. She had seen guys try that before and it never worked "She has no idea how Jackson feels and he will never tell her. So whatever thoughts that are going through your head right now, Forgot them. As much as you have been waiting for her, she been waiting for you"

"Thanks Gemma"

"Don't screw it up"

He watched her walked away before checking his watch. Kozik hated that he had to go and he hoped that Stella was going to come with him. He walked toward the pool table and watched his old lady do a victory dance after sinking four balls in one shot. Sadly she messed up the next shot and Juice started to do a little victory dance of his own. Kozik took her hand and pulled her away from the group for a second.

"Hey, I'm going to get going, not feeling well"

She felt his forehead with the back of her hand and he was feeling a little feverish

"Okay, must be going around. I've been feeling a bit unwell on and off today"

"Well, don't stay to long" he said kissing her goodbye. She watched him walk out of the clubhouse and smiled. It felt good knowing that someone was at home. Waiting for her.

Half an hour later Juice had beaten her at pool, yet again and Stella started to wonder if she should head straight home. That was the feeling she was getting. Suddenly she felt two hands on her hips

"Princess, I need you to do something for me" Tig told her quickly "Take the kids and lock yourselves in one of the rooms. No matter what you hear, do _not_ come out. You understand me?"

"Alex, what's going on?"

"Darby's guys are on their way here. Just got a call from Unser"

"What! I'm not going hiding when you need me out here"

"Princess! I'm not asking her, I'm telling you. Go!"

Stella could count the amount of times Tig had ordered her to do something in her life, on one hand. That's how she knew it was bad. Given her last meeting with Darby Stella understood where her scarecrow was coming from. She didn't like it but she was going to do what she was told. Along with Gemma and Lyla, Stella grabbed the kids and took them into the kitchen and closed the door behind. The ladies of course made it into the game trying to lessen the blow of what was about to happen. They didn't know what was going to happen at this point it was all just a guess game, with far too many questions that Stella just didn't have any answers too. When she heard bikes roll in her stomach flip and when she heard the first bullet fly through the air, it took all her might not to run at there. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She looked over at Gemma whose expression mirrored her own. They heard someone get hit and then fall to the ground. Something clicked within Stella and she couldn't stay there anymore, she knew exactly where she needed to be and it wasn't the kitchen. Stella walked over to a cupboard and opened the door. Reached into the very back and pulled out a Glock and loaded it.

"What do you think your doing?" Gemma asked her "If you go out there, do you have any idea how pissed he'll be at you"

"What if something happens to him and I am in here?"

Gemma shook her head because she knew that there was nothing she could say that would stop Stella from going out there.

"It's going to be okay" She said before she slipped out the door.

Somehow Stella kept her head down and moved fast enough not to get hit by anything, she made it behind the bar and next to Jax who looked at her like she was crazy.

"Stella, what the hell?"

"Yeah, Like I'd let you have all the fun" she said smiling at him.

"He's going to kill you"

"So I've been told"

There was clearly no getting rid of her and Stella had made up her mind and there was no changing that.

"Ready?" he asked

"Oh yeah"

They both stood up and started shooting before ducking down to where they were but not before her scarecrow saw her and she knew she was going to pay later but for now she was going to what she needed too. They ducked behind the bar again ,she looked over at Jax, who was holding his left arm.

"You get hit?"

"Yea"

She quickly took off her scarf and tied it tight around his forearm. He tried not to show that it was painful when she did it up, so she pretended that she didn't notice when he pulled a face of pain. Slowly bikes started to pull away but for some reason the bullets keep flying, glass kept breaking and the fear she had been feeling only deepened. Tig saw her as she stood up from behind the bar, 9mm in hand and ready for anything. A few seconds later he witnessed Stella take a bullet, a look of surprise in her features before she fell down.

Jax had seen the exact same thing and quickly grabbed her before she hit the ground. He laid her on the floor gently and searched for the wound but there was no blood. Her eyes flew open and started gasping, doing _short sharp breaths. Jax frowned and undid a few buttons of her shirt and saw the bullet proof vest over her black tank top._

_"Get it off"__ she said the pain evident in her voice._

_He ripped the Velcro off the vest gently as Tig ran to her side. Once the vest was off her body her breathing slowly came back to normal._

_"You were in a vest?" Tig asked_

_"Never can tell" she joked trying to sit up._

_"Go easy" Jax told Stella helping her up._

_"That hurt like a mother fu….."_

_"A bullet to the chest?" Tig asked her " Well yeah. You can't just do what your told, can you?"_

_"Where's the fun in that" she said placing her hand on her chest as it throbbed. She knew she was going to have one hell of a bruise. The bullet had hit her breast bone, it didn't feel like it was broken so she didn't see the point in going to the hospital but Tig sure did. They were arguing over that very same subject when Gemma walked over and dropped Stella's handbag at her feet._

_"Bend over and pick that up, without being in too much pain and you don't have to go"_

_Stella looked down at her bag then back up at Gemma, Stella shoulders dropped because she knew there was no way she could pick that bag up without at least a little bit of pain__, finally she gave in._

_"Let go, but I am not staying over night"_

_"You'll do what the doctor tells you to do" Tig told her "You hear me?"_

_Stella nodded her head before leaving with Jax and Opie to go to the hospital. This time she was actually going to do what she was told._


	15. Chapter 15

Stella laid on the lumpy hospital bed waiting to be told that she can go home, even if they said that she had to stay, Stella was still going home, and she didn't care. She heard high heeled boots walk down the hallway and she knew it was Gemma. There was too much attitude in that walk, not to be Gemma.

"Hey, you stubborn cow" Gemma said walking into the room. Stella started to laugh before pain ripped through her chest and she made a face.

"Don't make me laugh"

"Serve yourself right. I brought you some clothes, ones without bullet holes. Along with some bullet proof bangles, just like Wonder Woman"

"Okay. Dumb move. I get the message"

"Good. Stella I want you to get to your thirtieth birthday" Stella nodded her head in agreement, she wanted to get there and beyond too. Today she came too close to death and Stella didn't like it "They can't get a hold of your man"

"He wasn't feeling well. He went home"

"You've been a bit off colour today as well"

"I'll be okay. I promise" Stella told her holding Gemma's hand "I was so scared"

"You weren't the only one, Baby. Don't worry; our guys are taking care of it. all the guns in the factory are gone and one of Darby's guys got left behind"

"What? No honour among thieves"

"Is that really surprising?" Gemma asked as someone else entered the room. They both looked up to see Tara standing at the foot of the bed. Gemma and Stella looked up. Stella smiled and Gemma glared. Cleary their little friendship had cooled since Jax and Tara's break up. Stella was actually happy about that, it kind of crept Stella out when Gemma and Tara were getting along.

"Well" Tara "You always said you would take a bullet for them"

"Yes I did"

Tara turned to Gemma and snidely said "I need some privacy with my patient"

"Sure. Call me when you get out. I'll come pick you up"

"It won't be tonight" Tara quickly said.

Gemma smiled and grabbed her bag before walking over to Tara and telling her " Good luck with that"

Stella pressed her lips together trying not to laugh; she loved her biker mama, especially when she was on the attack. Stella did the best she could to down play everything that Tara was asking about. Tara sent her up for some x-rays of her chest, to see if anything was broken. The bullet had hit Stella's sternum and a broken bone and floating bones was a real possibility

Back at the clubhouse Opie walked in to see Darby's guy tied to a chair, refusing to give them any information. Opie looked at him for a second, he was familiar, Opie had seen him before and then it clicked and Opie knew where from. Opie smiled wickedly before turning around and going back to the hospital to share the news.

There was no broken bones and Stella more then ready to go home. The way she saw it all, it was only a bruise there was no reason she should be in hospital no matter what caused it. All she wanted to do was check on the kids to see if they were was going to track do the S.O.B's and have a little sweet revenge.

"How you feeling?" someone asked from her door. She got ripped out of her thoughts and looked up at Jax's smiling face.

"Fighting fit and ready to get out of here"

"Nice try, no way" he said chuckling "Besides Tig would kill me"

"Jax, come on!"

He walked into the room and sat on the edge of her bed "Alright I'll make you a deal. You can go home"

"Really?" she asked, never really thinking that he agree to her request

"Yeah, when the doctor says you can" Stella playfully backhanded his arm as they smiled at each other "You want me to call Kozik?"

"No!" she said adamantly "He had a feeling this morning, that I was going to get hurt, so no I don't want you to call him"

"Is that why you were wearing the vest?"

"Pretty much. We were joking about it at first and then I thought. What's the harm? Just fate, I guess"

Suddenly Opie marched into the room. Jax and Stella looked up at him and saw a flood of emotion on his face, but too many emotions to read. Stella's heart jumped up into her throat. Was it the kids? She knew it. Something had happened

"What is it, Man?" Jax was the first to ask.

"The guy that Darby's crew left behind. You have to see who it is" he said directly to Stella. It took her one point two seconds to hop out of that bed and be back on her feet.

"Stella" Jax protested

"Listen Jackson, you have two choices. Either come with me or cuff me to that bed" she told him before watching Jax rise his eyebrows. Trust his dirty mind to take a left turned at nasty "And I know you don't have cuffs with you"

Ope handed her the bag of her things before she made her way into the bathroom to get changed

"So who is it?" she asked through the door as she buttoned up her jeans.

"Dylan"

Stella's blood ran cold before she quickly pulled her tank over her head and zipped her boots up. She pulled that door open with since fury that Jax and Opie were just a little scared.

"As in the guy a put a bullet in, Dylan?"

"One and the same"

Stella ripped her jacket off the hospital bed and put it on roughly, just because she was so pissed off "I should have let him bleed out when I had the chance" she told them before marching out of the room and signing her discharge papers.

Tig stared at her shocked and livid as Stella walked into the clubhouse. She had been shot less then a couple of hours ago, she needed to be in the hospital but the one thing that his Princess was, was stubborn and she always had been. It had been something he had encouraged for most of her life. The one thing he was really surprised with was the fact that she had a Louisville slugger in her hand. As Stella gone to walk past him, Tig held out his arm and wrapped a hand around her hip, stopping her.

"What are you doing out of the hospital?"

"I'm fine. It hit the vest" she said calmly before stepping around him.

"How did you know about the A-K's?" Clay asked Dylan calmly. Dylan of course said nothing. Once Stella and Dylan saw each other, they both had wicked little smiles of their face.

"Being nice to Dylan doesn't really get you anywhere, Clay"

"Princess of the bikers. Damn bullet proof, aye" he said as each of them stared each other down "Did it hurt?"

"It's tickled" she answered with a smile "How's your knee?"

"All healed"

"Good. How did you know about all of this? The guns and the party? How did you find out?"

"Just smart I guess"

That's all she needed to hear before she swung the bat and slammed it straight into his knee caps and his old injury. All anyone could hear was Dylan's screams.

"Screw you bitch!"

SLAM! Stella was off again putting her whole weight behind that bat. Clay looked over at Tig and smiled delighted. Stella smashed the bat in to her bad knee once more and watched Dylan squirm in agony. She dropped the bat with a huge bang and walked close to Dylan. She grabbed his chin and made him look her straight in the eye.

"You put my kids in danger. Can you think of a reason why I should be merciful? The only thing I can do to help you is talk to these nice gentlemen and see your death isn't too painful"

"Like you have that much sway" Dylan chuckled

"You'd be surprised" Clay told him.

"We can finally finish this Dylan. Or you can start talking but I will tell you now that if you keep being a pain in the arse, you'll know about." Stella told him

"Fuck you"

Stella took a few steps backs and grabbed the bar behind her with both hands to steadying herself. None of the guys saw it coming as Stella kicked out her right leg, kicking Dylan square in the chest in a four inch heeled boot, knocking his chair back on to the floor. Everyone heard the sound the air being knocked out of his lung from the impact of the fall. Dylan took a strangled breath and coughed, as she walked across the concrete floor. She placed the ball of her foot on to his throat and pushed down. "Who told you about the guns?"

"I'm not going to tell you. You're going to kill me anyway" he said with a smile but secretly relieved that she had lessened the pressure his throat " I will tell you that they are closer to you then, you think"

Stella looked down at him looking confused and resisted the urge to kick him while he was down but she had been taught better then that. Dylan and Stella were stuck in the staring match of the century. Suddenly she felt two hands wrap around both her arms she turned around to see Clay behind her.

"We've got it, Kiddo"

She walked out of the clubhouse head held high and a bounce in her step. All the guys watched her go. The ones that had seen her in action before had enjoyed the floor show and the ones who hadn't were extremely impressed.

Stella sat on the picnic table, with her feet on the seat. She tried to breathe through the pain that was pulsating in her cheat. Sure swinging that bat seemed like a good idea when her body was being flooded with adrenaline but now that everything was said and done it was a completely different story.

"You okay, Sweetheart?" someone called. She didn't need to look up, Stella knew who it was.

"Yeah, I'm fine" she told him trying to stifle the pain in her voice as Tig sat next to her.

"Lair"

"It shouldn't hurt so much. It's only a bruise"

"Yeah, from a bullet" he told her "I swear little girl, I'm going to wrap you up in cottonwool and lock you, in your house. You've been slapped, strangled and now shot. Let's hope there is no next time because your luck is running out"

"Yes this has been a _particularly_ exciting trip, this time around"

Tig cracked up laughing. Thank god for Stella and her sense of humour because most women would have run screaming in the opposite direction by this point. She wouldn't admit it to anyone that after that bullet hit the vest and the wind got knocked out of her and Stella couldn't breathe. She was terrified that it was all over and she was scared. She was tough and Stella had been raised that way for a reason but deep down inside she was still that little girl with dark ringlets, running around the clubhouse. Everybody's little Princess. He wrapped his arms around her and brought her in for a hug before kissing her on the temple. Stella hadn't been the only one terrified that day.

"Here" he said placing something in her hand. She looked down at a orange container full of white pills.

"What's this? And if you say vitamins I am not going to believe you"

"Vicodin" he answered " How do you know about my vitamins?"

"Oh! We _love_ Vicodin"

"Gathered you would have run out of that hospital before they gave you any nice drugs"

"I did" she agreed "I hate hospitals"

Jax watched them from the doorway of the clubhouse and he should have known it from the beginning but it was very clear who the number one guy was in Stella's life and Kozik was number two.

"Hey" he called out

"Hey" she said quietly, he heard her all the same "Where is he? What happened?"

"Babe, we can't tell you that"

He watched Tig quickly whisper in her ear before Stella chuckled, even though it hurt her chest to do so and smiled at him. Jax just rolled his eyes and held out his hand .

"Come on"

"And where am I going?"

"Home to rest"

"Jackson I'm fine" she told him before shaking her bottle Vicdon "I have some nice drugs"

Jax turned to Tig and gave him a disapproving glare.

"What?" Tig asked Jax before turning back to Stella "He's right Princess. You should go home and get some rest. I'll call you in the morning"

Stella nodded her before he picked her up off the table and set her on the ground.

"Okay"

"Why is when he says it, it's _okay_? But when I say it I'm an idiot ?"

"Because it's Alex" she told him with a frown on her face like there was no other reason then that. Jax watched them kiss goodbye, one of those kissing that made the people around them wonder about the relationship between Tig and Stella. Could they have really slept together, in the past? It really crept Jax out.

"Do _not _put her on the back of a bike" Tig told Jax as Stella smiled at him triumphantly. Jax just rolled his eyes and shook his head. As Jax and Stella walked towards her car, he looked turn at this tiny women and was amazed by her and the effect she had on the people around her.

"You have him wrapped around your little finger, don't you?"

"Since the age of four" she told him chuckling before hopping into the passenger side.


	16. Chapter 16

Kozik pulled up in the driveway just as Jax was closing the front door behind him. Kozik frowned and stalked up the footpath towards Jax.

"Where the hell have you been?" Jax yelled out

"I could ask you the same thing, Jax. This is getting a little pathetic"

"Excuse me?"

"Everyone else might be blind to what's going on with you but I'm not. I waited for her for nine god damn years. Do you think I'm going let her go now?"

"At least I am there for her when she needs someone. She was terrified today. You were no where to be seen. That's been happening _a lot_ lately, hasn't it?"

"_What_ are you talking about?"

"Stella was shot today. She is your old lady; it's your job to protect her"

"Woah, what do you mean she was shot?"

"Darby did simultaneous raids on the clubhouse and where we were keeping the guns, everything is gone and Stella being Stella grabbed a gun and protected her family and took bullet. We almost lost her, Kozik. You say you've waited nine years for her, start acting like it"

Jax marched off down the path and fired up his bike before riding off. Kozik unlocked the front door as fast as he possibility could and He marched into the house in both a panic and rage running through his veins. He walked into the lounge room and then the kitchen, she was no where to be seen. Kozik could feel his heart beating in his ears as he made his way down the hallway. Then he saw her walking out of the bedroom. They stared at each other for a few second before he wrapped her up in his arms.

"You okay?" she asked

"Am I okay? I'm not the one who got shot" He hugged her a little too tight and Stella flinched in pain. "Sorry"

"It's fine, baby" she kissing him "Who's physic, eh? If I wasn't wearing that vest, I would have been a goner"

"Don't even say that. Don't even go there. God damnit Stel"

He looked down and saw the bruise on her chest that was the deepest purple he had seen and he had seen some bruises. Kozik felt sick because he knew that Jax was right, he hadn't been there to protect her and he should have been, that was his job and it boiled his blood that Jax was the one who was there for her. Stella was over come with drowsiness and rested her forehead on his chest.

"You tired?"

"Hmm, Vicodin"

"From the doctor?"

"Not exactly"

Kozik chuckled and shook his head "Come on, let's put you to bed"

Stella nodded her head before letting herself be led to the bedroom. It didn't take long before she fell asleep and even then he stayed and watched her, for a little longer. After about an hour he grabbed the keys to his bike and took off. There was someone he needed to see.

Darby wasn't surprised to see Kozik march into the workshop, when he found out what happened to Stella Darby was expected it but he was surprised however when Kozik grabbed him by the throat and threw him down on the table.

"You come near her again. It will be the last thing, you do. I guarantee you that" Darby just smiled until Koz let go of him. Darby stood up and rubbed his throat "We're done!"

"No we're not. Are you forgetting your part in all of this?"

"Don't care"

"Well" Darby told him "Maybe I shouldn't just sit down with Stella and tell her who's idea it was for Tig to take that trip down to Arizona because it sure wasn't my idea. Oh that's right… It was yours"

Kozik stared Darby down trying to figure out if he was telling the truth and he was pretty sure that Darby was.

"She'd never believe you"

"Oh, I think she would and what do you think she'll do to you when she does find out. You messed with her scarecrow and we all know what she's like when that continue being the good little rat that you are and keep your end of the deal and dispose of SAMCRO's prince, soon, or I will tell your better half everything and I mean _everything_. Do you think she'll love you after that?"

Kozik left knowing he was trapped between a rock and a hard place but the only way to get out of the hole he had dug for himself was to kill Jax. Kill Jax and keep Stella, it was that simple.

Stella woke up to the sounds of little voices and laughter coming from her kitchen. She couldn't help but chuckle with them. She hopped out of bed and got changed before quietly walking down the hallway.

"You okay, Sweetie?" she heard Kozik asked

"Yeah" Ellie answered "I saw what happened yesterday"

Stella froze she didn't Ellie had seen anything, just the thought of Ellie witnessing what happened to Stella the night before, she felt sick. Ellie had to deal with so much in her short life already; Stella hated the thought of Ellie having to deal with this too. She stood in the doorway of the kitchen watched Kozik take the pan off the stove and sit in the seat next to Ellie.

"Come here, honey" Ellie sat on Kozik lap and Stella couldn't help but smile " This made you think of your mom, didn't it?"

Stella hadn't put the two things together; it must have terrified Ellie, what happened that day before. Now Stella knew that she should have stayed in that kitchen, the night before, if only for those kids

"Sweetie" Kozik said to Ellie "You are going to be stuck with your Aunty Stella for a very long time, I promise. I'm going to keep her safe"

"You promise?"

"I promise" he said before looking up and Stella and smiling. She wrapped her green silk opy jacket around herself so the kids couldn't see the damage that had been done, the night before.

"You guys having a party without me?" she said walking into the kitchen. Both the kids got up and hugged Stella. "Oh, thank you"

"Are you okay?" Ellie asked

"Right as rain, Baby"

She kissed her man good morning and sat down with the kids.

"You want some breakfast?"

"Nah, feel a bit nauseous" she told him before he frowned at her.

"Vicodin?"

"Could be"

Instead he got her a coffee instead he placed it in front of her before she pulled him down for a kiss.

"Oh gross" someone said walking into the room "Not in front of the children, please"

They both looked to their left and saw Jax standing there covering Kenny's eyes.

"Sorry" Stella said playing around with them. Jax sat down at the free seat across from Stella at the table and she pretended not to notice the stare down between Koz and Jax. She really didn't want to deal with that, right now. She didn't have the energy to deal with that, right now.

"Do you think that he was telling the truth?"

"Who? Dylan?" she asked before shaking her head "Nah, he's messing with us"

"What did he say?" Kozik asked

"Oh you know the usual. There is a rat in your ranks feeding us information. Blah, Blah, Blah"

"You don't believe him?"

"Of course not, I've known all of our guys since I was little and so have you" she said talking to Jax " I trust them with my life, none of them would rat especially to Darby, of all people"

"What, his just trying to make trouble in the club?" Jax asked frowning

"Distrust can be the worst thing in a family, in a club. If you can't trust each other, who can you trust?"

"And we all know what happens after trust is taken out of the equation" Opie said walking into the room. He walked over to Stella and gave her a huge hug. She had scared them all the night before and none of her guys were going to forget it. Stella held on for a lot longer then she normally would. That's how they all knew that she wasn't at her best. They needed to handle Stella with care for the next few days. " Yougoing to stay home today, right?"

"No I have to work"

"No!" all three of the guys said at once, making Stella jump slightly before bursting out laughing, even though it hurt.

"Okay, I won't go"

Stella shook her head and made a face at Ellie as if to say _silly boys_. Ellie giggled before finishing her breakfast. Suddenly someone else walked into the house and Kozik wondered if he had moved into Grand Central Station but it was only Tig. Stella turned around in her seat, saw who it was and jumped up and hugged him tight. Kozik had to bury the Jealousy deep down inside himself, to get away with what he was going to do for Darby, Kozik was going to have to stay under the radar and keep his cool.

"You okay?"

"Of course"

"Now do you see why have to do what I tell ya?' he ask joking around "You get people worried"

They just smiled at each other, knowing that she would never do what she's told. It was in her blood to be the rebel, even against him. He placed her back on the ground.

"You're not going to work today, right?" he asked before she rolled her eyes.

"No. I've just had this conversation, I'm staying home"

"Just making sure"

She was dying to ask what the next move with Darby was but the kids were there and Stella knew that it was never going to be discuss in front of them, just like it was never discuss in front of Stella when she was a kid. Her childhood was kind of idyllic when she thought back to it, giant family and lots of love. Stella only hoped that Ellie and Kenny could look back on their loves and say the same thing. The guys all got ready to go to work. Before Jax walked out the door and turned back and smiled at Stella.

"Hey, Stel" he said sweetly

"Yes Jackson"

"Could you possible take Abel for the day? If you're up for it"

Stella smiled back at him and playfully rolled her eyes at him and shaking her head.

"Of course. Bring him over, might as well do something today"

They said goodbye and everyone left the house. She had a smile on her face when she turned around to face her other half and he just shook her head.

"Would it kill you to take it easy, for one day?"

"Come on, it's only Abel. I can handle it. I promise"

He kissed her goodbye and walked out the door. She sat down of the sofa and waited for Jax to come back with Abel but until then she had to total control of the nauseous feeling in her stomach but now that everybody was gone and she didn't have to put on a brave face, that sick feel was taking over her body. Stella took a deep breath and exhaled. She closed her eyes and placed her head in her hands. There was only one thing for it. Stella raced to the bathroom and threw up. She was going to kill Kozik for giving her his bug. That's what she gets for sharing a bed with him.

Tig walked into Church where Clay was waiting. Without even looking up Clay asked "How is she?"

"In a world of pain and not letting anybody else know about it, of course"

"That's our Stel"

Tig sat down at the table and stared out the window and got lost in his thoughts for a minute or two, thinking about the same thing that Clay was mulling over. Dylan's little accusation of double crossing. Stella was certain that it was a lie and she knew Dylan better then anybody. The one thing that was pretty clear form the night before was the hatred between them. The way Stella came in with that bat was like nothing they had seen before. They had been told what she did to find Tig about it was another thing to see it in person.

"So, do you think he was telling the truth?"

"We know our guys and we've been here before" Clay told him "We don't want another repeat of the last time the word Rat was spoken in this clubhouse but that said, someone has been disappearing a lot lately"

"No way!" Tig said before Clay looked at him surprised that Tig was defending Kozik. Had hell frozen over? "Not even Kozik would be that stupid to screw things up with Stella, twice"

Clay did see his point but even so Kozik was the only one that Clay felt comfortable with thinking he was a rat but maybe that was what Dylan and Darby had wanted all along. Distrust in the ranks was a dangerous thing and they both knew it.

"Even so, I'll get Juice to keep an eye on him, just in case"

"Deal"

Meanwhile over at the Auto shop Gemma watched out the window as Kozik and Jax snapped at each other about everything and anything. Clearly Jax's suspicions about Kozik knowing his deep dark secret about how he felt about Stella were correct. There was so much testosterone flowing out of the shop that it was almost suffocating. She stood at the window and watched the male posturing go on. Even if Stella was here, she wouldn't see why it was happening. Stella had never seen herself that way. She couldn't handle it anymore, so Gemma marched out of the office, repo order in hand.

"You know that was very clever this morning" Kozik yelled over the car they were working on "_Please, Stella will you baby sit my kid_? Very cute"

"What Kozik, you afraid of a little competition?"

"Please dude, try your best. You won't get anywhere. Only one man in her life that matters"

"Who? Tig?" Jax said with a chuckle "Does it bug you that Tig and Opie, got in there first?"

"What? Man you don't know what you're talking about"

"Well Opie I know for sure but are you telling me you've never wondered about her and Tig. You've seen them together. It's so obvious. You've always pick up he's seconds don't you?"

"Jesus! You two" Gemma said interrupting them. They both looked over at her surprised "If she heard you both talking like this, what do you think she'd do to you?"

Gemma gently through the repo order at Kozik, before staring them both done and shaking her head. Clay walked up behind them and told Kozik to take Juice with him.


	17. Chapter 17

Stella opened her eyes and tried to ignore the horrendous feeling in her stomach. She felt him brush the hair away from her face and brush her cheek. She opened her eyes and looked at him

"I hate you and your damn flu"

"Sorry"

"How come I got your flu but worse then you? Totally uncool"

"Sorry" he told her smiling because she was cute when she was sick. "You're not going to work, right?"

"Hells no"

"Okay I'll tell them. I'm sure Gemma will be by, shortly"

"I have no doubt" Stella told him with a chuckle before he kissed her goodbye before walking out of the house. Kozik had the suspicions that the club was on to him. Maybe it was just a guilty conscience, for all he had done but then again, maybe it wasn't. If the roles were reversed Kozik would think the same thing and he hadn't played it smart. Well not after Stella came back into his life. That was the way he wanted to play it but she fogged things up. She always had. Stella spun him about and that was just the effect she had on him. Kozik wasn't stupid he knew that if he killed Jax, he was going to break her heart. Stella had lost too many people in her life already and he was about to take one more from her. Either way, she was going to get hurt. He had talked it over with Darby and they had come up with a plan. Kozik could cut all ties with Darby and put this all behind him. Live his life with the woman he loved. He grabbed the keys to his bike and took off to work. When Kozik walked into work without Stella they all started to worry. She had been sick for a fortnight now and they all knew how much she hated going to see the doctor. She hated doctors in general; it took wild horse dragging her into a doctor's surgery for her to go or Gemma.

"She still not feeling right?" Jax asked

"As sick as a dog, Man. she won't go to the doctors. You know how stubborn she is"

"Ma!" Jax yelled

"What!"

"Stella won't go to the doctors' and she needs to go"

Gemma was out the door with her bag and half way to her car when she said "We'll see about that"

Jackson just smiled at Koz as if to say _And, that's how it's done._ Kozik just rolled his eyes and got to work, after today Jax wasn't going to be a problem. Half an hour later Stella heard a knock on the door and it could have only been one of two people.

'Well you look like shit" Gemma told her from the entry of the kitchen.

"Well, I look the way I feel, bitch"

Gemma chuckled. It was nice to know that even as sick as a dog Stella still had bite. She smiled at Stella before standing next to her. Stella knew it was coming but she still hoped that she was wrong.

"Have a shower, get changed and we're going to the doctors"

"Oh geez. Gemma, I'm fine. I feel fine other then the throwing up everything I eat"

"Which has been going on for two weeks, now? Baby, you're not going to win" Gemma told Stella shaking her head "I've already made an appointment. Come on move it"

Clay watched his friend and Sgt at Arms across the table the table, he hadn't said it but he was worried about the fall out when this whole rat thing came out and not from a club point of view either.

"Would you stop worrying? She's going to be fine."

"I can't help it, it's build in since the age of four. If we're right about him, You and I both know what we have to do. You think she's not going to survive that?"

"Stella is not her mother. She was stronger then Savannah ever was, she was too sweet for this life. Stella's different; we've raised her stronger then that"

"You think I want to chance that, Clay. If anything happens to her"

"Stop. It won't. We have to deal with this. One problem at a time, all we have is a feeling and his disappearing acts, we need something concrete"

"Agreed"

Suddenly Juice entered the room and took a deep because he really didn't want to tell them. He just looked at them for a few seconds.

"What?" Clay asked "Out with it"

"Darby's on the phone. Wants to know if we want to buy our guns back"

Tig and Clay looked at each other bewildered at the nerve of Darby, wondering what the hell he had been smoking, to even come up with this dumb arse plan and to think they were going to let him get away with it. There was no way they were going to pay for their own guns but they did need to have a little talk to Darby and grill him about his little rat. If they could take Darby by surprise and put enough pressure on him to tell the truth and know for sure what the heck was going on then they could move on or at least move in the right different. Clay hopped on the phone and set up a meeting with Darby for that afternoon but their _meeting _was going to be a whole lot sooner.

"Jax!" Clay yelled.

Jax frowned and before walking over "What?"

"I need you to stay here" Jax gave Clay a look that said it all and more " If_ he _figures out what we are doing and where we are going, Kozik will slipt. I need you to make sure that doesn't happen, got it?"

"Got it"

Kozik pretended not to notice them all leaving inconspicuously, one by one. What the club didn't know was that they were playing right into his hands. It was exactly what Kozik wanted. There was one of two people they were going to leave behind to keep an eye on him. When he saw Tig leave with Clay he had to stop himself from smiling because that met Jax was staying behind and he wanted the prince alone with no witnesses, so he could play dumb when he found Jax dead body. Their scheme was going according to plan.

Darby however was taken by complete surprised when SAMCRO come for a visit but he worked it out pretty quick. Especially when he saw the Prince wasn't with them. Darby had to admit he was impressed.

"What can I do for you gentleman?" Darby called out. In answer Clay pushed him to the ground and Darby ended up getting his face squashed by Clay's boots.

"You're rat? Who is it?"

"You already know the answer to that question"

"Kozik?"  
"He's been good too. Top notch"

"No" Tig said "I hate the guy but he loves Stella too much to be that stupid"

"She won't when she finds out what he did"

Tig and Clay frowned at each other before Bobby walked in and informed them that they had found the guns. At least one good thing had happened today.

"The best bit is you played right into his hands. I wanted someone dead and now Kozik is alone with him. Great job Clay. Easiest thing ever. I hope you said goodbye to the little Prince"

They all looked at Darby and astonishment before getting back on their bikes and praying to god they weren't too late.

Jax had his back turned when Kozik pulled the gun on him when Jax turned around and saw what was going on his first thought was for Abel just in case this didn't turn out to well and his second thought was for Stella

. "You're an idiot! Do you have any idea what this is going to do to her?"

"She's not going to find out, Man. It's going to be quick and then all this can all go away"

"So you're going to off me? Really?"

"No other way out. Darby wants this done and then everything will be okay"

"Kozik, you're not getting out of this alive. You're kidding yourself if you think different"

"I'm the one holding the gun, Jax"

They both heard high heels click into the clubhouse and there were only two people it could be. Gemma or Stella and Kozik prayed to god that it was Gemma. God didn't answer. Stella stared at the scene in front of her and didn't want to believe her eyes.

"What's going on?" she asked softly even though it was pretty clear what was going on. Her partner was pointing a gun to her family. Her blood ran cold. She knew what was going to happen when everybody else found out about this and she couldn't protect Koz, not from this. Stella could however protect Jax.

"Baby, get out of here" Kozik begged her

"We both know I can't do that"

Stella took a deep breath and dropped her handbag on the ground. She began to shake and had to really pull all her strength together to pull herself together and be emotionless. Stella took another deep breath before walking up and standing between them, right in front of Jax. Jax looked down at her shocked and angry. How dare she be this foolish?

"Baby, move!" Kozik told her "I have to do this"

"No you don't. Whatever trouble you're in, we can fix it, you just have to put the gun down. Jax has to walk away. You understand me?"

"No he can't"

"Stella!" Jax basically snapped at her "Get out of here. I'll deal with it"

"Teller! I swear if you move, Koz will not be the one to worry about" There was such conviction in her voice that Jax actually believe her "He's not going to shot me"

Stella wasn't silly. As Koz had told her months before, she was five foot nothing and weight a buck fifty, soaking wet. If Kozik really wanted to kill Jax, he could shot above her head but she knew him and she knew he wouldn't or at least she thought he wouldn't. "You're Darby's rat?"

"Yeah"

"That's means he has leverage on you right? Because that is the only way you would do this, Koz. I know you. You're not a rat. If you don't shot him I can fix this"

"Why would you help me? I've lied to you since you got back into town."

"I don't want to raise this baby, on my own"

The whole world stood still. Had she just said _Baby_? Had she actually just told him that? They had thought it had just been the flu or the side effects from the medication she had been taking but clearly not.

"But we _can't…_"

She smiled at him, happier then he had seen her in a long time and she laughed. He was holding a gun to her and Stella was laughing

"That one in a zillion chance? It found us. I don't want _our _child growing up not knowing their father. I did that, I don't want please? I am begging you. I need you to put down the gun. We can fix this but if you shot him baby. They _will_ kill you"

"Their going to kill me any way"

"If you don't shoot him they'll excommunicate you but they will not kill you. I'll make sure of it" She stepped forward putting her hands up. She didn't break eye contact as she walked towards him "Keep the gun on me baby, okay?"

"Stel…. I don't want to this but I have to do this"

"I'll go with you. Excommunication, I'll go you"

"Stella!" Jax protested behind her

"What?" Kozik asked her amazed

"We can go anywhere you want. You and me, we can have _that_ life. When I first came back you told me that you want everything. A white picket fence, a family. We can have that" she told him lightly placing her hand on top of the gun, lightly pushing it towards the ground "We can have it, you just to put down the gun and let Jackson walk out of here"

She could see his mind clicking over realising that Stella was right. Kozik lowered his gun, Stella felt a weight lift off her shoulders and she started to think that maybe she was going to get them all out of there alive. Unfortunately he kept thinking. Even if Stella did have that much sway, he was the reason that she was shot a few weeks ago. She was Tig's princess there was no way that he was going to let that fly. Stella's heart dropped as he pointed the gun at them again.

"You won't want that once you find out what I did" he told her as she slowly walked away from him. He hated the fact the Stella protectively wrapped her arms behind herself and around Jax's waist. She was having his baby but protecting someone else, how wrong was that?

"Stella, Move!"

"Screw you! You rat bastard" she told him "The only way I am moving is if you put a bullet in my head"

"Kozik you're not walking out of here alive" Jax told him over Stella's shoulder.

"One less person in your way"

"What does Darby have on you?" Stella asked quietly "Why would it matter?"

"Arizona" he told her nodding his head "I set it up. It was my idea and I went to Darby with it"

It was the only the second time in his life that Kozik had seen her cry. The tears run quietly down her face and the pain in her eyes was too much for him too bare.

"Alex? That's why they took him? You?"

"Baby, if he hadn't killed your dad, you wouldn't have left and we could have been together, that's the reason I left Tacoma"

"That was the reason I killed a man"

"I never want you to do anything like that"

Suddenly almost too fast for him to register, Stella reached back behind Jax and pulled out gun from the waistband of his jeans and point straight at Kozik.

"Thanks for putting me in that position again, Honey. You I love it"

"Stel"

"No! He could have died. How dare you!" she told him with an icy cold voice that made Kozik wish that she was yelling at him instead. Stella eyes had changed from distraught to emotionless, faster then Kozik could blind. Tig had taught his Princess, well. He was going to die the love of his life might as well be the one to do it He pulled the hammer back and she took a shaky breath before the sound of a gun shot echoed through the clubhouse. Stella knees gave way and Jax only just caught her before she hit the floor. He sat them on the ground and held her close, as she stared ahead at the man loved. "Stella?" Jax said brushing her hair back behind her ear. He got no response "Stella"

Still nothing. She just closed her eyes and rest her head on his shoulder.


	18. Chapter 18

When everybody else came back to the clubhouse they couldn't have imagined the scene they saw. Stella had beaten them to it and was wrapped in Jax's arms staring at what she had done, still with the gun in her hand. Specks of blood on her face, nothing like a horror movie but still pretty horrifying.

"Oh god" Tig said once he saw the gun in her hand.

"She's out of it. Not responding to anything" Jax told them.

"Sweetheart?" Tig said trying to get her attention. He tried over and over again. She was motionless. He had seen this before, and he didn't want to loss Stella the same way "Princess?"

That's jolted her out of her daze; she looked over at Tig like he materialized out of thin air.

"Hi"

"Hey"

"He was going" Stella stopped and took a deep breath "He was trying to kill Jax"

"We know. It's okay. Give me the gun" He took it out of her hand as she stared down at it. They stood her up. "Opie? Can you?"

"Yeah, I got her"

Opie picked her up off the ground and they all watched them both walked into the back, all wishing they could take it all off Stella's shoulders but they couldn't, what they could do was clean up. Once they were in one of the bathroom Opie sat her on the basin and washed the blood off her face with a warm cloth. Stella just sat there comatose, thinking about what she had just done and what she had to do, what she was going to do. Her head was foggy like she was in a dream, closer to a nightmare. She knew she had no choice but that didn't mean Stella didn't hate herself for doing it. Why couldn't she ever have a happy ending? Was she in the wrong life? Should she have married Parker? At least that way no one would have died. She felt dirty. Had he used her? It made sense, Clay told Alex everything, Alex told Stella everything, and Stella told Kozik everything. It was the prefect plan. It had worked perfectly until the end.

"Stella, say something" Opie told her "You're starting to scare me"

She looked up at Opie and then felt that all too familiar feeling in her belly and she frowned before telling him

"I'm going to throw up"

She hoped off the basin and went over to the toilet, just in time. Opie held her hair back, it wasn't like he hadn't seen a women throw up before; after all he had two kids. If Kozik wasn't already dead, Opie would have enjoyed killing him for what he did. Yeah Stella was strong but one person could only take so much and this might have been Stella's limit.

"You got other clothes here?"

"Yeah, why?" She saw him looking at the sleeve of her white blouse and there was blood "Even dead he's a pain in my arse"

Opie chuckled and helped her off the ground before opening the door. Stella walked down the hallway and into one of the rooms.

She walked back out into the clubhouse in jeans, a black tee and with her hair tied back in a ponytail. She was shocked to see the Clubhouse spotless, like nothing happened. She got the urge to ask them where _he_ was but she knew they would never tell her. Suddenly she felt someone arms wrapped around her; she smiled when she saw it was Chibs

"Hello beautiful"

"Hi" she said giving him a hug. When she felt him letting go she said "You don't have to let go yet"

"Don't have to tell me twice"

Stella couldn't help but laugh before they made there way to the bar, shortly after.

"Do you want a coffee?"

"Is it Irish?"

Chibs laughed out loud

"Irish Whiskey it is"

"Damn straight"

They stayed at the bar for a while, not really talking but just being there with each other. She had the feeling that he scarecrow had told them not to leave her alone. She knew why and she understood why he was so worried. She knew why they were all worried but they had nothing to worry about. Suddenly a packet of cigarettes slid down the bar towards her, she looked up to see Jax smiling at her. He knew the first thing she reached for was a smoke when she was worried or stressed.

"Thank you"

"Welcome" he said lighting it for her.

"You guys do good work. This clubhouse is cleaner then I've ever seen it"

Neither of them said anything and she knew without a doubt that the subject was closed, never to be spoken about again and she respected that. She finished her drink, kissed them both on the cheek and thanked them, before walking out the door.

Gemma had told him to leave her be for the night. Let her sleep, let her get a grip on everything that had happened and it was good advice but he just couldn't. Tig had to check up on her, even if she was still sleeping, he had to know that she was okay. When he let himself into the place and smelt kerosene and started to worry. The smell got stronger once he moved to the back of the house, there in the backyard was Stella standing there over a metal barrel.

"So you felt like a BBQ?"

She turned around and smiled.

"Nah, just a cleansing of sorts"

Tig stood next to her and looked in the barrel everything of Kozik's that Stella could possibility get her hands on was in the barrel, clothes, photograph. The bed sheets were pretty much explained themselves and he didn't want details. The one thing that didn't need explaining was the white satin wedding dress. He didn't see her light the match but he sure did watch everything go up in flames.

"Had you worn that dress yet?"

"Nope. Fortnight too early" she told him. "Thank god for small graces, Right?"

They stood there quietly before she struggled to take her engagement right off her finger. When she finally did Stella threw it straight in the barrel. She wasn't going to keep wearing it, there was no point in keeping it and if she pawned it, anything she brought with the money was going to be tainted with his memory. Burning it was the only solution she could come up with.

"I'm starting to worry about you"

"You always worried about me" she chuckled

"You haven't cried, Stella"

She just smiled at him and wondered why he never shared this side of himself to anyone but her.

"The tears will come. Just let me bask the healthy rage first"

"I get that"

"Thank you for worrying"

He left her to it, still worried but now less so then before he showed up. Stella sat on her back step and watched the flames until they burnt out. For the first time in her life her mind was free of any thought, at all. Suddenly all she needed in the world was a hug from her mother, since that was not an opinion. She hoped in her car and went to the next best place.

Gemma was sitting on her bed in her robe when she heard the tiniest tap on her bedroom door. Stella opened the door and gave Gemma a small smile.

"Hey Baby"

"Clay let me in"

"It's okay. Come here" Gemma said waving her in. By the time she got from the door to the bed Stella started to cry. Stella curled up and laid her head on Gemma's lap. Gemma brushed Stella's hair back as Stella well and truly broke down. Gemma shook her head she was both angry because Stella was hurting so much and sad because there was nothing Gemma could do, to fix it. "I'm so sorry, baby"

Stella didn't say anything she just proceeded to cry herself to sleep. Gemma was just glad that she wasn't alone.

Jax walked into his mothers' house and found her in the kitchen; He walked over to her kissed her on the cheek.

"Is she here?"

"A sleep in my bedroom, Jackson she a mess"

"I was worried because it didn't seem to faze her, I mean she's strong but no one is that strong. One things is for sure Stella is not raising this kid by herself"

"Whoa, what are you talking about?" Gemma asked hold up her hand.

"Stella told Kozik she was pregnant and everything changed, he looked like he was in total shock and it was like only then he was torn about what he was doing"

Gemma looked down at the ground shook her head, sometimes Stella really amazed her.

"Jax, Stella can't have children"

"What?"

"When she had the accident, she was pregnant. Kozik and Stella lost the baby but somehow, something went wrong and she can't have any more or it's a one in a zillion chance of her falling pregnant, but it was something he still really wanted"

"So she used it"

"That would be my guess"

It explained a lot. The way she was with the kids, especially Abel, he thanked Gemma and walked down the hallway and saw Stella sleeping on her stomach her long dark hair cascading over the pillow next to her. She moved suddenly, settled again but then moved suddenly again. She was trapped in a dream. He moved quickly over to her and sat on the edge of the bed.

"Stella" he said brushing her face lightly with his hands. Stella's eyes flew opened and she looked up at him and took a deep breath "Bad dream?"

Stella nodded her head and a tear fell down her temple before Jax stopped it with his thumb.

"Are you pregnant?"

"No, I'm not. I can't be, I'm damage goods"

"No you're not"

"I was fairly sure he wouldn't shot me, to get to you but I _knew_ if he thought I was pregnant. There the no way he was going to fire that gun. No way in hell because he wanted kids more then anything. Do you think I'm evil?"

"Nope! You did what you had to do"

He knew that gave her little comfit and Jax hated that Stella was the one to pull the trigger. The tears silently fell on to the mattress as she turned over on to her side and there was a question she was dying to ask somebody, anybody because Stella had been asking herself ever since it happened and she couldn't find the answer

"Did he ever love me?"

"Yes!"

"Then why?" she cried

"He was backed into a corner and it was the only way he could see to get out of it. He loved you so much but he messed up" he said hugging her "He messed up big time, Babe"

He knew she hated crying in front of him, the guys or anybody for that matter. The fact that she was crying so freely just showed him how destroyed Stella truly was.


	19. Chapter 19

**Jax saw Tig at the bar in the clubhouse and knew he had to talk to him about this whole situation. It had been a week since Kozik dead and Stella had barely left her house and had been sleeping in bed the whole time, if she wasn't sleeping she was drinking and for a small woman, Stella could really knock them back and wipe herself out. Whiskey and Vodka had been the drinks of choice.**

**"We need to talk"**

**"About what?" Tig asked frowning, knowing exactly what Jax wanted to talk about.**

**"What do you think? Stella. She can't keep going like this"**

**"Jackson, she's a big girl. She can take care of herself and she's just killed the love of her young life. If she's decided she wants to drink herself into oblivion and sleep the rest of the time, that's fine. It's better then some other things she could be doing"**

**"She's not Savannah, goddamn it!" **

**Tig looked up surprised at the outburst, a few seconds later he just smiled and drank his beer and took a deep breath before looking back at Jax.**

**"I am not willing to chance that. Are you Jax? And the reason why she is so tired, other then shock is the fact that she having nightmares and replaying the whole thing in her head. Which we both know is pretty normal. We just have to keep an eye on her while giving her space"**

**"So you're not worried?"**

**"Of course I'm worried. Since the age of four I've been worried about her but I'm not freaking out because she is going to be fine. She has no choice"**

**Jax walked off shaking his head, wondering how Tig could be so calm. They had to find a way for her to get back on her feet otherwise it wasn't going to happen. Stella had always been happy around the kids. Opie had just brought a pool and it was a hot day. It didn't take a genius to put two and two together.**

Stella put on a happy face with she was playing in the pool with the kids but the guys could see straight through. There was a smile on her face but her eyes said something completely different. Stella had spent hours in that pool making the kids laugh. Throwing then gently into the water or jumping off her shoulder. All the things they remembered doing when they were kids. Lunch was ready and the kids were out of the pool faster then lighting. Then Jax and Opie turned back around to the pool, Stella was no where to be seen, both Opie and Jax walked over to the pool and stood there watching Stella under the water. It seemed like time stood still and Stella didn't move. She just sat there with her eyes closed. The air bubbles rising to the surface were few and far between.

"What is she doing?" Opie asked. They watched her for a few more seconds

"Stella" Jax called out. She didn't move "Stella!"

Opie and Jax frowned at each other before watching her a while longer. Opie shook his head and told Jax "Get her out of there"

Luckily she was close to the edge of the pool. Jax reached straight in with both hands around her forearms and wrenched her out of the water and it was more difficult then he thought it would be. Once Stella reached the surface she gasped for air "What the hell are you doing?" Jax asked shaking her slightly. Stella ran her hand over her face and brushed her hair out of her face before looking at him "Huh?"

"I don't know"

"Not good enough, Stel" he said letting go of her and walking inside. She watched Jax stalk away into the house but then something strange caught her eye, some one leaning by the fence, a man with dark hair and very familiar green eyes. She knew it was him, Stella didn't know how she knew but Stella knew he was her father. She watched him shake his head at her. Stella frowned and looked down at the water before looking back up but by then he had disappeared. Opie watched Jax stomp inside and slam the back door. He watched Stella actually realise what she had just tried to do. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. He helped her out of the pool and helped her inside.

"Opie" she started

"Go have a shower and I'll talk to you when you come out" he said wrapping a towel around her shoulder. Opie was the only one could actually understand what she had just done. He had been reckless with his own life, after Donna died. Just so it stopped hurting for a few seconds. The truth was Opie and Stella had more things in common then they cared to admit. Opie drove Stella home, they didn't talk about it but they always had that special gift of being able to talk, without saying a word. They hugged goodbye and Stella had her way inside.

Stella sat on her sofa her hair still wet from her shower. Even Stella couldn't believe what she had just done. Maybe she was more like her mother, then she realised. She wasn't meaning stay under that water for that long, it was just that when she was under there, Stella became numb and she needed to be numb, right now. She ran her fingers through her hair but someone walked through her front door and slammed it behind them. She looked up to see Tig standing hands on his hips.

"What is with you Mackenzie women and water?"

"Can you please not? Jackson already yelled at me, okay?"

"So he should! Listen I know you're hurting, I know it's too much too bare but you're stronger then this. You can survive this"

"It doesn't feel like it, Alex"

He walked into the house and sat next to her.

"I'm going to tell you what I didn't get to tell Savannah. I love you but just because you lost him, doesn't mean we get to loss you. Are you understand me?"

"Yeah" Stella said nodding her head. "Is Jax still really pissed?"

"I'd stay away from a day or two, if I were you"

"Okay"

"Wow, you're actually going to do what I'm telling you?" he asked "That's a first"

"Well I think it would be beneficial for my health"

"And trying not getting shot, wasn't?" he asked laughing.

For the first time since she pulled that trigger Stella laughed too. Neither of them knew how long they sat their together. Suddenly Stella's front door slammed again.

"Why is my son so pissed at you?"

"She tried to pull a Savannah" Tig told Gemma.

Stella was scared for a second, not knowing what Gemma's reaction would be. She surprised Gemma walked up and hugged her.

"No wonder he is pissed at you"

Stella wiped the tears off her own cheeks. She hated that she was fell apart these days. She cleared her throat, Stella didn't want to ask them this but she had to know. Her whole life Stella had been told stories about her mother, but not much was said about her father. Of course she knew that was because of the way he left this world and now she completely understood why he hadn't talked about. Somehow and in some way Stella knew that she had seen her father, that day. It was instinctual.

"I have my fathers' eyes, don't I?

Gemma and Tig look at each other and froze on the spot, neither of them wanted to answer the question and in a way, had she known the answer right then and there.

"Yep you do" Tig answered quickly.

"How did you know?" Gemma asked brushing her hair behind her ear.

"When Jax pulled me up out of the water. I think I saw my Dad. He was at the fence, looked right at me but when I looked back, he was gone. Oh god I sound crazy don't I?"

Gemma kissed her on the temple and pulled her in for a hug. She didn't know if it was because of when she did that day or the fact that she was talking about that made that weight on her shoulder, lessen slightly.

Jax had silently welcomed himself into her home, via the hide-a-key under the frog at her front door. Everybody knew about that frog, it was hardly a secret. He walked into the living room and down the hallway, knowing that she would be in bed. He was right, Stella was lying on top of the covers, staring up at the roof and twirling her hair around her fingers.

"You scared the heck out of me today"

She looked at him surprised that he was even there. She was hardly Jax's favourite person right now.

"I'm sorry"

"Abel and the rest of the kids need their Aunt Stella" he said walking into the bedroom and laying down next to her "He was not the only one who loves you. You understand?"

"Yeah" she said nodding her head

"You know what I remember most about your mother? She sang all the time. She must have sang other songs but I only remember one. Something about a spring or dreams. Something"

Stella chuckled. She knew that song, she knew it very well. Suddenly he heard this soft, tiny voice sing

"You could be my silver spring... Blue-green..colors flashin'.I would be your only dream... Your shinin' autumn...ocean crashin'... Don't say that she's pretty... and did you say that she loves you...? Baby I don't wanna know"

Savannah used to sing Stella to sleep, with that song. It was one of Stella strongest memory of her mother. They both fell silent for a few minutes. There was so much they had to say to each other but they didn't know where to begin.

"I'm sorry Jax, I've just been so tired"

"I know" Her wrapped his arm around her and brought her in for a hug. Stella rested you head on his chest and drifted off to sleep, without meaning too. Strangely enough, it was her first night without having a nightmare.

So we are coming to the end guys. The final chapter shall be posted soon. Thank you so much for all your beautiful reviews and comments you have no idea what they mean to me.

I was thinking of doing a third story about Stella but tell me what you guys think. Would you want to read another story about Stella? Should we give her a fairy tale ending? Love L

xoxox


	20. Chapter 20

Gemma woke up at four thirty in the morning and for some reason couldn't go back to sleep, so in defeat she got up. She walked into the kitchen and boiled some water, for her morning coffee just like she did every morning. It wasn't until she sat down at the dinner table that she saw an envelop that had been slipped under the front door. She frowned and put down her coffee cup. Gemma tried to ignore the sick feeling in her stomach. The dread of the unknown but that was until she recognized the handwriting. Gemma wasted no time opening that thing.

My dearest Gemma,

You said to me last time I left Charming, that if I left again without saying goodbye, there would be hell to pay. So I am putting my goodbye in writing. I wish I could bounce back as fast as our guys do, I can fool myself into believing that I am as strong as them but at the end of the day I'm not. I wish I was, it would make this whole thing much better. I was in my front yard this afternoon, this breeze picked up and I knew what I had to do. The gypsy inside of me, that has been so quiet during my time with Kozik, finally woke up and I knew I had to get back on the road. I've always healed better when I'm traveling; I think it's my father's Romanian gypsy blood is to blame for that. I don't know where I am going, but I'll know once I get there.

Tell our guys that I love them and that I'm sorry I couldn't say goodbye in person. Take care of them for me. I think of you all everyday, no matter where I am in world; my heart is always with my family. I know Alex is going to be pissed as hell with me for doing this, but for a girl that isn't in one place for very long, I really hate goodbye. Give the kids a kiss for me, it scares me to think how big their going be when I come back.

I love you Gem

Stella

Gemma reached for the phone and called her son, who was of course asleep because of the hour. Gemma paced the room as the phone rang and rang. When he finally answered Gemma didn't even say good morning

"If you want to see your girl again you'll get your arse over to Stella's place right now. She's leaving and might even be already gone. She left a note"

They both hang up at the same time and Gemma had one more call to make.

Stella looked at herself in her bedroom mirror before looking down at her dresser, seeing that old photograph Kozik stole from her and a mans gold wedding band on a long piece of leather. She placed the ring around her neck, it was so long that it sat just below her chest, easy to hide under her clothes and on this day, under her jacket. She looked down at the photograph she had just picked up. Stella wrapped up in Kozik's arms smiling up at him. It was one the only times she could remember being truly happy and truly in love. Stella folded the photo in half and placed it in the back pocket of her jeans. Stella had her bags in her hands and was locking the house up when she heard a bike scream down her street and she knew the jig was up. She chuckled as she walked down the garden path to the car. Jax hopped off his bike and Stella dropped her bags in the back seat and closed the door behind her.

"She had to wake up early, didn't she?"

"You were just going to leave, without a word"

"That was the plan"

"Stella?"

"I'm sorry"

Jax hugged her tight. There was so much he wanted to tell her but knew today wasn't the day to come clean about everything. Wasn't the right time for Stella and Jax wasn't quite sure that he was ready either. He rested his chin on top of her head, the stood there in the driveway for a little while, just like that. They didn't get to enjoy it for long before they heard another motorcycle Pull into the street and drove into her driveway .

"Somebody's in trouble" Jax told her in a sing song voice.

"Does he look angry?" she asked burying her face in Jax's sweatshirt "I can't look"

"Kind of emotionless, actually"

Suddenly Jax heard her say the little four letter word, to herself because she knew that emotionless was worse then angry. It was beyond angry. She let go of Jax and turned around it face the music. Tig hesitated for a long moment, they just watched each other.

"You know the whole leaving without saying goodbye didn't work out too well, last time" Tig called out

She walked up to him and hugged her scarecrow

"I'm sorry. I just didn't want to make a big deal out of it. I couldn't handle it"

"I get it" The truth was that Tig normally knew what she was going to do, before she did half the time. She had always used the road to heal and she most definitely needed to heal, right now. She loved that she didn't have to explain herself, for him to understand her. "Take the time you need. How ever long that is"

"You saying, you're not going to miss me?" Stella joked

"Every damn day"

Jax watched on, realizing that there was only one man in her life that counted. They were yin and yang but for some reason Tig and Stella worked. They brought out the best in each other and any other guy in Stella life was lucky to come second. There wasn't much any of them could say. Stella hugged them both and hopped into her car. They both watched her wave before driving away. Both not knowing when they were going to see her next but both knowing it wasn't going to be any time soon.

******THE END ******

You're wonderful people who read these. You have no idea how amazing you are. Thank you

Love L

xox


	21. Question?

Hi My Loves,

I was just wondering if you guys and gals who have been reading Stella's story, would be interested in reading a type of prequel about Stella and Kozik, how they met, how they got together? That type of thing.

Let me know if you want to read something like that and I'll see what I can come up with, because I only write this stuff for you guys

Thank you, so much for reading my stuff and reviewing it all. You have no idea what it means to me.

Love L

xox


	22. Author Note

Hey Guys,

Just in case you didn't know there is a Koz and Stella prequel online. So if you're interest in reading it. Go over too

s/8899592/1/Whiskey-Mystics-Men

Enjoy and tell me what you think

Thanks for all the support

Much Love

L

xox


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